Lonesome Wolf
by Vauseman.TayLaur
Summary: AU: Piper Chapman is 16 years old and she's been taken away from her parents, finding herself living in Litchfield Foster Home. Will she survive without making major changes in her life? What happens when two girls try to win her even though she's sure that she doesn't like girls?
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I'm sorry if this is a weird idea. It just came to me out of the blue and I wrote it down. I'd like to thank Freaxxforever for your support, you're the nicest!_

 _Sorry in advance, for mistakes/things that doesn't make sense. Also, I'm kinda looking if this could work. thank you._

* * *

 _Lonesome Wolf  
_

This has got to be the worst day in the life of the young Piper Chapman.

You see, she's the kind of person that has never in her entire life suffered or struggled to get what she wanted. And we are talking either economically or not. Since she was a little girl, all she had to do was pout and watch her parents with big doe eyes and none of them could never resist her.

And… the little detail that they actually didn't give a single fuck about any of their children. They were never around to watch their sons and daughter, not a single homework done with them, no taking them to school, no hanging out and acting like a family. That's why Mr. and Mrs. Chapman would practically _bribe_ their three children. Presents, cash, cars, anything _material_ they wanted.

The oldest son, Danny was 19 years old, and still in high school, and he was one of the most fucked up kids you'd know. Always hanging out with the outcasts. Heavy drinking, ditching school almost every single day. Smoking joints in the middle of the fucking school. Vandalizing city properties at night with their _friends_ (They would always narrowly escape the police on Danny's car). He was never home because he was always trying to escape his reality: that his family was shit and he was not loved.

Piper was the middle child, at age 16, and she was in the same high school as his brother. She was the exact opposite of her brother, she _cared_ about school, her brothers, her friends, the environment, the government, politics, just causes, animals, you name it. Because this was her way of escaping. She knew her parents loved her, and that they cared, but she also was certain that some human beings are never supposed to have children (that was the case of her parents).

Cal, on the other hand, was the youngest and he was smoking weed at the age of 12 years old, with an alarming fixation on fire and blowing up things. No one never knew what he was talking about because he always has the strangest ideas.

Anyway, they all had their own routines, Mr. Chapman was a liar and a cheater, with shady last minute meetings at "work", never a theme in common to talk about with him, and no one could question him, because they knew he would beat the living shit out of you if you dared to confront him on anything, and so much for the protection they needed from "mom" (it even felt weird to call her that).

Mrs. Chapman was a really sour woman, who spent all her day at the country club… or the spa, the mall, equitation classes… anything but her house. She had learnt a while ago that her husband was always with another woman, and at first this killed her, she couldn't even eat or sleep, but managed to keep it a secret. Until she figured that she might as well enjoy life too.

Except that she took it the wrong way because instead of going home to take care of her children and make sure they grew up to be decent human beings, she was totally oblivious to them. And she went and look for other men to be with, hell, even woman. And of course, no one ever helped her feel right.

 _Reckess abandon._

So, as to why this was the worst day in the life of Piper, well…

It was a Saturday morning, specifically November 18, 12:34 p.m., Danny was rolling up a j in his own fricking bedroom, Cal was climbing trees in his backyard, trying to put the cat in the tallest branch, Piper was naturally studying for a very important exam she had, and obviously, Mr. and Mrs. Chapman where nowhere to be found.

The knocks on the front door were too loud, Piper stood up from her desk and went to the window to see who it was.

Out on the street, there were two men and a woman, waiting by a car. Piper didn't think anything particular about this and went to get the door, jumping downstairs, and two steps at a time, finally reaching the front door.

What was about to happen, would change their lives forever. And it is not an overstatement.

"Good afternoon, little girl" Said the plump woman, who was dressed in red.

"Good afternoon, what can I do for you?" asked Piper, a little nervous.

"Are your parents home?" she asked with an overly sweet voice.

"Uhm… no, they are not here, do you want me to call them? I mean… is it something urgent?" Piper asked, question after question without pausing to let them answer.

"No, don't worry sweetie. Are your brothers home?" she said.

 _How does she know about my brothers? Who are they? I should call my parents._ Piper thought.

"Uhm… sorry, who are you?" _Shit! Why do I always have this foot-in-mouth disease!_

"Sorry, sweetheart, it was rude of me. I am Anita DiMarco" she said extending her arm to Piper, as a way of greeting. "And this is John Bennet, and Sean O'Neill" both men nodded, "And we're from the Department of Child Safety Services".

Piper took both her hands to her mouth in an attempt to cover the expression of shock she had. The woman kept talking, but she had stopped listening, she felt dizzy and couldn't make out what she was saying, except for little words: " _your parents are careless… home abandon… solitary children… forced to take you with us… neighbor put the complaint… legal order…."._

She would go on and on, but Piper wasn't listening, she felt how her world had just collapsed beneath her feet, she wanted to scream, to cry or to run away, but her feet seemed to be rooted to the spot.

Without a warning, the two men entered the house, searching for the little kid (Danny was allowed to stay), and Piper then found her voice:

"Where…where are you taking us?" it came only above a whisper, her voice quivering, about to cry.

"Don't worry little girl, you're going to be in good hands. We're placing you on Litchfield's Foster Home, it is divided in sections, boys and girls live separately, but you'll get to visit your brother and vice versa." She finished: "Maybe you'd like to pack a few things, dear".

So she went upstairs, to her room. She entered and collapsed on the door, sobbing uncontrollably. _What am I supposed to do? My life is over now, I won't have parents, or a house…_ she was thinking. And after what felt like hours, she heard a soft knock on her door.

She was startled and quickly pull herself up and motioned to open the door, but remembered that she hadn't packed anything and yelled: "Wait a second, please, I'll be right out"

She instantly started packing her most important belongings: instead of packing loads of clothes, she just took a couple of jeans and t shirts, along with underwear and started to pack her favorite books. If she was to stay at a place where she knew no one, at least her books would be with her.

After packing, Miss Anita was still waiting outside her door, so when she opened it, she said: "Are you ready sweetie?"

 _NO! Of course I'm not ready! Are you kidding me?_ "Yes, where's my brother, Cal?" _won't bother asking for Danny._

"He's all packed and ready, waiting for you on the car. Hey, you're parents have been notified by now, and there is a whole case against them, perhaps in the next days there will be people asking you a lot of things about them." She studied Piper's expression "You should be completely honest with them, ok?" and offered a sweet smile.

Piper was about to start crying again, so she decided against speaking and just nodded curtly. And although she hated her parents, she thought that all of this was unfair on them.

She grabbed her bag and walked alongside Mrs. Anita, downstairs, out of the house.

 _Out of this world, of this life._

She hopped up in the car, and glanced at Cal who looked pretty excited.

"Cal?" she spoke softly

"Hey, sis, why the long face?" he said cheerfully.

"OMG, how can you be so happy! They're taking us away from home! We may never be able to see Danny again! Or our parents!" She said, feeling her heart breaking a little as she spoke.

"That's great! Can't you see it? We're gonna be surrounded by other kids, we can make friends! And no angry father to yell at us, or beat us! We won't be alone again!" he said gleefully.

 _When did he started thinking like an adult! Not even I…_

"Okay, you _may_ be right, but what about grandma? And the holidays? Vacations? Things!?" she had to stop speaking because this was just too much to bear for now. So both remained in silence the whole trip to the foster home.

She felt asleep, out of fear. _Defense mechanism._ And when she woke up, their car was traveling on a narrow pathway, surrounded on both sides by tall trees.

A few turns later they saw it. On the far left of their path stood four long buildings, brick color, with black, tall fences, and the aspect of a prison. They entered through the principal gates and through a little track that led them to a fountain in the middle of the tall buildings. Then, the car stopped and the three people started climbing out of the car, followed by Cal and Piper.

When they were out of the car, Mrs. Anita motion for Piper to follow her, but stopped abruptly and said: "You can say good bye to your brother, we'll give you a few minutes." Piper nodded.

"Don't worry, you'll get to see him soon" she added after she saw the look on Piper's face.

The two siblings stared at each other and just _hugged_ each other like there is no tomorrow. They remained that way for several minutes, without uttering a single word.

Eventually they had to separate their own ways, and Cal followed John and Sean to the boys' part of Litchfield's Foster Home, winking and waving to Piper.

"Let's get you settled dear." Anita said.

Piper followed her, and after several minutes of paperwork, she was finally climbing a set of stairs to her new "bedroom". Mrs. Anita explained to her that she would be sharing a room with three other girls.

A feeling of absolute dread starting running down Piper's body. She had never shared a room with anyone, let alone three _cruel, strange_ girls.

This was going to be a horrible experience.

They arrived at a door marked with number 8, on the 4th floor and Mrs. Anita said: "Well, here you go, this is your new room. All the girls are out in a field trip, so you can stay here, you'll be alone so you can begin to process everything that has happened, and start to acclimatize".

"You'll be okay, dear. Dinner starts at 5p.m., and don't worry, I'll tell the principal to make your roomates to teach you everything around here, as soon as they get back." She offered and started to walk away.

Piper took a deep breath and started bracing herself to enter through that door when suddenly the door burst open and she bumped into a slightly taller, raven-hair girl, who wore glasses and had milky skin.

"Hey! Watch it!" the taller one said.

"So…sorry… I didn't mean to… I'm really sorry… it was supposed to be empty…. And I was…" Piper kept rambling.

The other girl had a quirked brow and was staring at Piper unamused, arms crossed at her chest.

"Well, you better be careful" she said, visibly irritated, and Piper couldn't stop her eyes that started filling with tears.

 _Don't be stupid Piper, don't cry!_

"Jesus! What a softie." The raven haired girl said, the tiniest of the smirks appearing in her face.

Piper shook her head, unsure of what she was supposed to say or do. Who was she supposed to be?

* * *

A/N: So... what do you think?


	2. Chapter 2

One week.

One entire week has passed since the day Piper got to the foster home, and her life have been everything but _normal._

 _Where can I even begin?_ Well, for starters, the fact that living here was nothing she'd ever thought she'd have to face, she had been on stand-by, just sleeping, showering, studying, eating, drifting off and crying. And repeat. Every single day.

 _At least I get to see Cal today. That little fucker must be having a good time, I know him, he probably has loads of friends by now. And I…_

 _I've got the three most awful roommates._

In reality, she wasn't even sure what she thought or how she felt about the three girls. They were what anyone would describe as _unbelievable._ The worst thing was that she couldn't even exactly point out if the adjective had a good or a bad connotation. Two of them where the same age as Piper and the other one was 17.

To explain a little the situation, there was this girl, the one she bumped into the first day she arrived here. She was tall, with _perfect_ pearly skin, jet-black hair and heavy rimmed glasses. (And don't forget to mention, she was _older_ and had one large tattoo on her right arm.)Which gave her that air of mysticism and plain _mystery._ She was what one could describe exactly as lazy, rebellious, anxiety-ridden, depressed, deep, _gay_ teen. Her name, she later learnt, was Alex. And this Alex girl made sure every single second that Piper felt uncomfortable around her, teasing, _bullying,_ making fun of her, hell, even _flirting_ with her, which made Piper cringe every time. She was too confident, always with a cocky smirk and a trademark raised eyebrow.

Then, there was the tiny, thin, big-headed Tiffany, she had crooked teeth and long dark-brown hair. She wasn't half bad, at least she was nice to Piper, but she had serious issues with boys, and funny ideas about simple things, she seemed fairly neglected by her parents, and by the way she talked about them, Piper had no doubt that they were only looking for the first chance they got to get rid of her. Over the last few days, she noticed how Tiffany _hated_ Alex and the other roommate, because of their sexual preferences and she always said that Alex had a crush on her and that she was sickened to have to share a room with her.

And the last girl, was quite _strange_ , she had a funny accent, short brown hair and perfect white teeth. She was always reserved, didn't talk much to anyone. She had barely crossed a word or two with Piper (and if she was being honest, she thought this girl was a boy at a first glance), until she presented herself, a little bit too formally for someone her age. Her name was Stella and she was cocky, narcissistic and so full of herself, but nevertheless mannerly and/or polite.

The bedroom was a little too tight for the four of them, but they managed to not fight every hour or so. There were two bunk beds, on the left side of the room slept Tiffany on top and Piper below her, and on the right side there was Stella on top and Alex below her. The room was painted an awful tone of olive green, with the paint falling off the edges. It had a large wardrobe occupying the whole wall in front of the bunks, and obviously it was divided in four equal portions.

Then, just beside every bunk there was a rather old and worn out desk with a couple of books and a lamp each. They were four chairs, so they had their own chair but had to share the desk.

Piper was thankful that she was "paired" with Tiffany because she was the one that seemed " _normal"._ Always talking about how fucked up boys were and how the lesbians were ruining the world and she truly believed that the lesbians were the cause of the boys being assholes.

Piper, on the other hand, have never had the opportunity to think about "gay or lesbian", she knew those terms existed, because she saw them on her sex ed class, but she never _saw_ a real person being any of those things, but she really didn't care, except when it was about Alex, and that was because she always made sure Piper lived a hell and she loved flirting and every time Piper would turn around and watch her, Alex was gazing exactly where she was.

* * *

Later, that Saturday, all the boys and the girls were allowed to hang out together on the grounds of the foster home. So Piper immediately went looking for Cal, and when she found him, he was leaning closely with two other boys and they were looking rather guilty and suspicious, holding something in between them and talking animatedly.

When Cal noticed her sister coming to where he was, he let go what he had in her hands and gasped.

"Oh my god, Cal!" the blonde said starting to get annoyed.

"Hello, sis!" Cal said, trying to take her away of the other boys, so she wasn't able to look at what he just let go, but it was too late, Piper saw it.

There, on the ground, below a boy's foot laid a freshly rolled joint. So, naturally, Piper being older, felt the need to protect her brother and started scowling at him.

"You give me that!" she said to the scrawny boy who looked at her with terror in his eyes and stepped away, running for his life. Piper took the joint and put it in her pocket, motioning to the other boy to go away, and he did.

"What do you think you're doing, Cal? If they catch you with this, there's no chance of us going back to the house!" she said, sadness evident in her voice.

"Do you really care, Pipe? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd rather be at home than here but… I feel like it is liberating in a way. And besides… they haven't even come to visit! Not a single time!" Cal said, trying to make his sister feel a little bit better.

"I care, Cal" she said caressing his brother's cheek, to which he just rolled his eyes and told her that she was too sensitive.

"Well, perhaps I am Cal, but you have no idea what I've been through these days!" she let out a long, loud sigh, feeling defeated.

"What happened, sis?" the plump boy said with concern in his little eyes.

"My roommates" she said, not feeling in the mood to elaborate further.

"Oh, bummer. Mine are totally cool, I'm the youngest, but none of them have ever smoked a joint!" he said a little too excited.

Piper just rolled her eyes, but tried to suppress a grin that was forming in her lips.

Cal just looked at her with beaming eyes and the blonde couldn't help the full smile now tugging at her lips.

"I just worry about you, you know? But I'm so happy to see you, and to know that you're doing a lot better than I am" she said sincerely.

"Don't worry sis, just try not to be too uptight, and _try to enjoy_ being around other people, and you'll see that everything feels better" he said, right before he turned around and started walking to his building because they had run out of time, and must return for dinner.

* * *

Piper felt a lot chipper after meeting her brother, so she went to the cafeteria whistling contentedly.

She went to get her tray of food and was walking to the same table she had been eating every day since she arrived, when suddenly, she was startled when an aussie accent spoke to her:

"Hey girl, do you want to sit here? I've noticed you're always there but you don't talk to anyone" she said pointing at the table on the far left corner, where Tiffany was sitting with two other girls.

Piper pondered for a second, because this girl _although gay_ had never hit on her and was rather pleasant to be around, so she remembered "… _just try not to be too uptight, and try to enjoy being around other people…"_ and she nodded as a small smiled appeared on her face.

After the first uncomfortable minutes, they finally started talking, just about trivialities and how they came to be here, laughing and having a good time. Piper realized Stella was really nice and she wondered if she had finally had found a friend (because Tiffany was not her friend, she just co-existed with the smaller girl). And she realy found herself _enjoying_ this girl's company.

* * *

A few tables away from Piper, there was Alex frowning and just trying to act as if nothing had happened. She was sitting with her friends (it was like this was the table for gay people, or so everyone thought). There was Nicky, a girl with _really_ wild, red-blonde hair, who was Alex's best friend since before Litchfield foster home.

That was simple to explain, they were neighbors since they were little and while Alex lived with her mother who really took care of her, Nicky's parents were a total chaos and were never home, they abused their little girl, beat her every other day and neglected her, so she was always hanging out at Alex's house. That was until Alex's mom passed away.

In front of Nicky, sat Black, a total _butch,_ with super short hair and big blue eyes. She had always been hot and cold with the other girls, always going along with the people that had the better deals for her (clothes, books, cigarettes, you name it), and beside her was little Lorna Morello, the shorter girl of them all, with curly brown hair and red lips. No one was sure if she was indeed lesbian, but they figured she was because she hung out with them (and there were always the rumors that she was Nicky's girlfriend).

They were talking animatedly, until Alex felt annoyed and excused herself from the table. She went to the bathroom and her mind was racing because Piper _went and sat_ with fucking Stella. And that bitch was a traitorous rat.

 _Flashback_

 _Piper and Tiffany were busy making homework (or rather fighting because Piper was right about what she was doing and Tiffany insisted she was wrong). Alex had been watching the blonde since the moment they collided, because she found her really **really**_ _gorgeous. She was the type of girl that Alex always wanted, thin, perfect skin, long blonde hair, mesmerizing blue eyes, cute dimples that formed on her cheeks when she smiled... **if she smiled** ('cause she rarely did), and Alex just knew that she had a crush._

 _Stella was silently observing everything, like she always did. Just witnessing everything and keeping her mouth shut, low-profile she'd say. And she noticed the stupid grin Alex had and how she was practically drooling while looking at the newbie, so she stood up from her bunk and motioned to Alex to go out of the room._

 _Alex followed her and once they were outside the room, Stella started walking somewhere, so Alex kept following her. After a few minutes, they were outside, in the back of the building, in a secluded area, where Stella took out a cigar from her jean's pocket and lit it, offering it to Alex after a long drag._

 _Alex happily complied and after dragging the smoke out of her lungs she asked:_

 _"What's up Dingo? Everything okay?" she said amicably, as they were not exactly best friends but they got along pretty good._

 _"Shut up, Vause. I've noticed how you look at that little cutie." Stella said gauging Alex's reaction._

 _"Shit! I know I'm being too obvious, so that's why I tease her and flirt with her on purpose, so she thinks it is all a joke." she said, blushing furiously._

 _"Yeah, she thinks that you hate her and that you want to make her life a living hell." Stella said laughing._

 _"Did she say that?" the jet-black haired girl almost screamed._

 _"No, dumbass, I haven't had a chance to really talk to her, but I can tell, I've been watching her, so you know..."_

 _"Do you like her too?" Alex said with a pang of worry on her chest._

 _"Nah, don't worry. I just noticed that you were being too stupid there, so I had to get you out of there so she won't notice" Stella said nonchalantly._

 _"Thanks, man. Really I appreciate it. I suppose you can be a good friend"_

 _"Don't be such a girl, Vause, but thank you."_

* * *

 _A/N: *Hides behind a tree* Don't hate me, please._

 _Reviews?_

 _Thank you guys, for all of your reviews, favs and follows._


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey! Sorry guys I know it's been forever since I last updated but I had a couple of bad days, but, here it is, I'm afraid that this chapter is not too good because, well, you know… but, I hope you enjoy it._

* * *

After thinking thoroughly about the whole situation, Alex decided that the best thing to do was to play it cool with both girls, after all, she was never the type to go after the girls _even_ if they were straight, hell, _especially_ if they were straight.

So, she went straight to her room, sat on her bunk and started to read. Reading was always a way to forget everything for her, it gave her the sense of fulfillment she so desperately craved for. This time, the title on her hands was _Tragic Sense of Life_. She always had a soft spot for philosophy because she was naturally _curious_ and had that **need** to know more about everything and a notion of _self_ much too complex for someone that young.

She wasn't aware of how much time had passed when, none other than _Stella_ came in, smirking. _Of course._ But Alex didn't move a muscle and kept reading, well, pretending to read because she couldn't concentrate anymore, all she wanted to do was to confront the girl as to why she would do something like that. _No, keep calm Alex, don't do something you could regret later._

But Stella interrupted Alex, placing a hand on her shoulder, so Alex tilted her head to look at the aussie and raised her eyebrows, waiting for the girl to say something.

"Hey Vause, don't be mad" she said with a derisive smirk.

"Why should I be?" the taller girl scoffed.

"Well… because _your_ girl and I were talking and I saw how you stormed off the cafeteria" _you had to actually say it!_

Alex laughed and said: "First of all, she's not _my_ girl and why would I be mad? I just like her, it's not like I feel jealous or something" _I feel fucking jealous! And I haven't even had a real conversation with her and you did… bitch!_

"Oh, cool. Then… I assume you won't have any problem if I try to win her?" Stella said cockily.

 _Youfuckingmotherfuckersonofab…_ Alex readjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath before coolly answering:

"Hell no, you go" Stella gave her little pats on the back and smiled.

"You're the man, Vause"

"But… you must know that that doesn't mean that I _won't_ woo her, so, you know?" Alex said nonchalantly, lifting her characteristic eyebrow.

"Fair enough" Stella said thoughtfully and left the room.

 _Fuck!_

* * *

The next day was Sunday so that meant that the girls were free to do whatever they wanted and that meant sleeping ´til noon, at least for Alex.

Tiffany woke up early and went straight to the showers, while Stella prepared herself to go out for a walk and Piper was debating if she wanted to run or eat or sleep. She decided to go out for a run, so she started changing to her sport outfit. Alex was asleep, so she didn't mind changing there.

Or so she thought.

Alex was awakened moments before when Stella left the room, but she stood still, trying to go back to sleep. She slowly opened one eye and saw what Piper was about to do, so she pretended to be asleep, so she could _peek._

 _Oh my fucking God, I swear that those are the most beautiful nipples I've ever seen._ She forgot to fake her breathing, because the sight made her catch her breath in her lungs and that was all it took to give her away.

Piper noticed that Alex wasn't breathing and felt herself starting to blush furiously, but she put on her shirt and bent to her bed to grab her pillow and went straight to Alex to hit her with the said object.

"Oww" Alex yelped and sat on her bed.

"Hey! What was that for?" Alex asked rubbing her eyes.

"You were spying on me!" the blonde said angrily, although a little smirk wanted to appear on her face.

"I was not! And hey, even if I wanted to, I couldn't possibly see anything because I'm not wearing my glasses!" She said starting to laugh.

 _Of course I saw everything, and it was worth it._

Piper narrowed her eyes at the brunette but finally let the little smile creep up her face.

"Easy, kid. I'm not going to tease you or anything anymore, don't worry" Alex said sincerely, putting on her glasses and staring deeply at the blonde, trying to memorize the different tonalities on the pair of blue eyes.

"Why?" Piper asked before she could stop herself and her voice was small and just above a whisper.

Alex chuckled and said: "Because you don't deserve that, I've been an asshole with you the whole time and you must be having a hard time because you don't seem like the type of girl who would normally end up in a place like this"

 _That's bullshit._

 _Or not?_ Piper doubted because she thought she knew enough of the taller girl to know that she was never serious but she was looking at her in a way that just made her _wonder_ if she was being honest, it seemed like it.

"Go back to sleep, you don't seem like the type of girl who would wake up early on a Sunday morning" Piper chuckled and threw her pillow back to her bed and walked away.

* * *

As soon as Piper threw her pillow, Alex noticed a little thing that fell off the pillowcase but didn't say anything as Piper left the room.

She stood up and went to grab the little joint.

 _Holy shit. Is she a junkie? She doesn't seem like a junkie._ Alex thought and took the joint with her, putting it away in one of her drawers. She would have time later to ask her about it.

Tiffany entered the room in that moment and was genuinely surprised to see Alex up. She raised her eyebrows and walked past Alex without uttering a word.

Alex smirked and decided to have fun:

"Hey Dogget" she said mischievously

"What, Vause?" Tiffany asked annoyed by the girl with jet black hair.

"I'm surprised that your hillbilly ass took a shower" she laughed and left the room.

"Fuck you, fucking _dyke"_ Tiffany said humorlessly

"Yeah, fuck me, Dogget" and she closed the door, laughing all the way to the showers.

* * *

Piper was running and was so happy because this was something that made her feel free and in charge of herself and her emotions, so she was just smiling broadly when she noticed that Stella was watching her from the other side of the precarious track.

She reached the point where Stella was standing and smiled at her.

"Hello Stella" she said shyly

"Piper" the Australian girl said bowing her head a little.

"How are you doing? You came to run too?" Piper started laughing and before Stella could answer she added: "Of course, that was stupid, I mean… it **is** a running track" she said blushing.

Stella chuckled and reached out to touch Piper's cheek: "Hey girl, you look pretty when you blush like that but there's no need, don't worry because although it **is** a running track I don't run, I'm here just to walk".

Piper's eyes widened at the sudden contact and she forgot how to breathe because that was something she certainly wasn't expecting, let alone Stella calling her 'pretty', it wasn't pleasant nor unpleasant, so she just shrugged her shoulders and told her awkwardly that she was going to keep running and turned around quickly, trying to run with shaking legs.

"Hey, see you at the cafeteria" Stella yelled.

* * *

Alex finished showering and went straight to Nicky's room, she knocked on the door and entered before anyone could answer her.

"Nichols" she greeted her friend who was lying in bed motionless.

A grunt was what she received as response. "I'm glad to see you to, fucker" Alex added playfully, punching Nicky on her arm and sitting in her bed.

"What? What do you want, Vause?" Nicky punched her back with a smile.

"Hey, we're trying to sleep here! And you're been noisy!" Soso, the annoying girl on the bunk above Nicky said.

"Oi, shut up Soso"

And both Nicky and Alex were surprised at the little girl who said that.

"Sorry" she said apologetically and mouthed: "She's annoying" before the three girls burst out laughing.

"Just tell me the joke already" Boo's head appeared from above Lorna. And the little girl mouthed again "She's annoying" while pointing to Soso.

"Oh, Soso? Yes, she is annoying" Boo said loudly, laughing mockingly and the three other girls just rolled their eyes. Soso didn't say anything more.

"To what do we owe the pleasure?" Nicky asked Alex.

"Oh, right! I need you to help me Nichols" she asked her softly.

"Are you okay?" Nicky said trying to supress a yawn. And failing.

"Yes, well, no, oh I don't know, I need help with Piper" she said it fast. "I need you to help me plan out things so she becomes my friend" _Fucking Dingo can't win._

Nicky was biting the side of her cheek really hard trying not to laugh at Alex.

"What? You asshole, I'm asking seriously" Alex said as her own smile was threating to appear.

"Sorry Alex, it's just that... did you hear what you just said? Help you plan out things so she becomes your friend?" she couldn't hold it any longer and started to have a furious fit of laughter. Alex blushed and passed her head through her black locks, waiting for Nicky to calm down.

After a whole minute, Nicky was able to breathe again, tried to stop laughing and said: "That's not something you plan, and jesus, since when do you want to be _friends_ with the girl you are drooling over?"

 _Well, this motherfucker has a point. But I know that with Piper I need to be her friend first, otherwise it will never work._

"Shut up, I really want to be her friend, and I'm not drooling over anybody!" Alex started tickling Nicky on the ribs untlil she couldn't breathe again and was begging for mercy.

"Okay, okay, just leave me! I'll fucking help you!" Nicky said rubbing her sides.

"I need to be her friend and be able to woo her at the same time" Alex blurted out.

"Ah... there it is, I see." Nicky nodded.

"Well, my friend, we're gonna make that girl drool about you". Nicky winked and Alex felt hopeful.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Apologies for the delay, this chapter is a little bit larger that what I normally write._**

 ** _Thank you all for the favs, follows and for reading this story. A special shoutout to WB79 because you rock, thank you for taking your time to review everything (:_**

 ** _I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear from you._**

* * *

The morning was dull and gray, December was around the corner and the weather was starting to get really cold, the sky was a pale tone of blue, the sun was nowhere to be seen and it reflected exactly how Piper was feeling at that moment. Her parents were visiting her for the first time since she arrived here and she wasn't sure if she wanted to see them or if she _hated_ them.

On one hand, they were her parents and they have always given her everything she asked for, but they really were careless and if she tried to reminisce, she always found that they were never on the picture, and it didn't exactly bother her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Professor Healy.

"Chapman?" he asked, fixing his eyes sternly on Piper, who literally had no idea what he was asking. He was a short, plump man, with graying hair who was bad at teaching them Psychology, but he loved his job and genuinely thought that he could help the girls and the boys, so he always came up with new ideas to make different activities to help the girls cope and bond.

"Sorry, Mr. Healy, I didn't hear you" Piper said averting his gaze and blushing a little.

"Are you okay? If you want, you can come to my office when you're off classes and maybe talk to me? Anyway, I asked what your views on projecting yourself on other people are" He said tiredly.

"Oh, well, I believe that projection happens every time, for example, when you told us to make a collage with any images that we liked. That is all about projection, we choose everything based on our own personality, so it is all about projecting, above all when other person tries to explain what you made. That is projection too because your own ideas are reflected on the ideas of other people" she said dreamily, this were the kind of things that she enjoyed because they kept her mind busy.

Alex, who was hanging on to every word Piper said, suddenly felt brave enough to speak, and without taking her eyes away from Piper she said:

"That's brilliant! I just got it from a different perspective, but what you're saying is that you're projecting yourself in the other person's views rather than on your own personality plastered on the other's eyes… or wasn't it that way?" Alex looked expectantly to Piper for an answer but the blonde looked perplexed. She didn't seem to register exactly what Alex was saying, it was as if there was a very deep meaning hidden in those words that seemed to mean absolutely nothing at all.

And maybe it was the latter because everyone started laughing at what Alex said, even Nicky who scoffed and shouted "Blabbering, Vause" and continue laughing heartily.

"Uh… yeah, sort of." Piper said, giving Alex a tiny lopsided grin, to which Alex just winked and turned around to keep looking at the professor who was starting to scribble some things on the chalkboard, and gather their attention by clearing his throat.

"So, we're going to make a new…."

But for Piper, the words became imperceptible because she felt amused, and she couldn't shake the feeling of _wanting_ to talk to Alex, to make her explain what she meant because it really confused her -she noticed that the jet-haired girl had some serious shit in her head- and she wanted to talk to someone who could analyze things and who _knew_ about the mind.

 _I wonder if she really meant anything by that, it seemed like I was the only one who got what she was trying to say. Nah, that's bullshit._

 _Or was it not?_

She was trying to decide when would be a good opportunity to talk to Alex, just to ask her about that thing, she wasn't looking for a friend, she just wanted _someone she could talk to_. Thankfully she kept her mind busy because before the incident, she was really scared of the meeting with her parents, but now she seemed to have forgotten all about it, until the bell rang and she jumped a foot in the air because she suddenly remembered that she was supposed to get out of class ten minutes earlier to go meet her parents.

So, she haphazardly put away her things and ran out of the classroom. She felt dread pouring out of her every pore, but she just kept running, until she arrived at the Visit Hall, out of breath and sweating a little, she stood on the doorway, trying to lower her heart rate.

Mrs. Chapman was the first one to spot Piper on the door, so she immediately stood up and went to meet her daughter to pull her in a tight hug.

That simple gesture was as weird as if out of nowhere she had just grown a second head and her skin was purple. So weird that Cal, who was sitting with his dad just lifted his eyebrows so high up his head that he looked as if he was trying to get them out of his head and started to laugh profusely because of the face Piper was making, clearly uncomfortable.

When Carol finally let her go, she smiled a little and greeted her before running to her father and hugging him. This time, it was a lot more sincere and Bill Chapman looked happy, but at the same time he wanted to get out of the place.

Both parents tried to make small talk with Piper and Cal, but they were failing because they were, as always, not touching the important issues there, they were just trying to pretend that everything was fine, even normal.

Cal was getting really annoyed when her mother started criticizing the place, saying that it was "poorly taken care of, dirty, and that they must be really miserable there" and he snapped at her mother, yelling:

"At least we're never alone in here!" and stormed out of the room, not even turning around to watch them.

Both parents were shocked but let him go, giving each other sympathetic looks and Piper really did get why Cal was so angry, so she just looked at them and told them that Cal was right, this was all their fault and that if they weren't able to address the issues and try to change things, it was better if the two of them stayed there because at least it was doing them good. They may not have luxuries but they were developing things they would never get, like being open to other people and actually being able to _talk_ about their feelings.

That said, she stood up, nodded to both of them and said good bye, leaving the room as well.

* * *

Alex was about to go to Piper to ask her if she really understood what she meant to say when she saw her running out of the classroom and she sighed and packed her things slowly, avoiding conversation with everyone, until Nicky stood beside her.

"You know, if you actually thought about articulating words _before_ saying them out loud… maybe you could actually _talk_ to Chapman" she blurted out and hit Alex on the head.

"Ow you idiot! What I said had a meaning, if your brain is the size of a pea and you can't understand shit besides sex or pussies that's not my fault, Nichols" Alex hit her back and started laughing because Nicky looked like someone had just slapped her.

"Fuck off, the truth is that you can't even think when you look at her! And you're pathetic and make me sick" she started making sounds of retching and bending over to illustrate her point.

They were bantering back and forth, getting out of the classroom, when they spotted Stella waiting for them outside, smiling cockily.

"Vause, if _that_ is your way of wooing her, man… you're done." she rasped, clearly not believing what she was saying.

"We'll see, right?" Alex winked and they walked past her to meet with Lorna and another blonde girl with dreamy eyes named Tricia.

"Nicky, we're planning to hang out in the room later today, you know, after curfew to have some drinks, but we need to get Soso out, Alex you wanna come?" Lorna said happily.

"Yeah, of course I'll be there" Alex said smiling "Maybe you can make Piper come too, I'll invite her, but you girls make sure se goes" she whispered.

"First of all, we need Brooke out of the room, and yeah, we'll see what we can come up to… to make sure blondie shows up."

* * *

Back in room number 8, Piper was lying in her bed, headphones on, volume all the way up, trying to fight back tears. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to cry because she was sad or just angry, maybe it was both of them, so she decided that she just wanted to listen to music and forget everything, she was skipping the last class, but she didn't care, she wouldn't get in any trouble because she already had permission (she was supposed to be with her parents), so she got the room all for herself.

Alex opened the bedroom door quickly to grab a book off her desk that she forgot to put on her backpack in the morning, at first, not registering that she wasn't alone, but when she heard the muffled music she turned around to find Piper lying in bed with her eyes closed.

Alex looked at the ceiling trying to figure out what to do.

 _Should I talk to her? She hasn't even noticed that I'm here, what about if she gets upset because of me._

"I can hear you thinking Alex" Piper blurted out. Her own eyes widened for a moment because of the bold movement she just made. She took off her headphones partially to be able to listen to Alex.

Alex kept her gaze on the ceiling for a moment, struggling for an answer.

"Well, so… you're kinda psychic, aren't you?" Alex said laughing and turning her head to look at the blonde.

"Not much, but I felt your presence… I mean, I felt there was someone in here" she said taking her headphones off completely.

"Fair enough..."

"You're gonna be late for class… again"

Alex chuckled.

"Just a bit, but I'm leaving now. Are you okay Piper?" She asked her softly.

"No, not really. Everything's fucked up, but…" she shrugged her shoulders.

"Wanna talk about it?" Alex smiled sweetly

"No"

"Oh, okay" Alex started to turn around to pick her book.

"Because I don't want you to be late". Alex turned around so fast that she became a little dizzy, she certainly wasn't expecting that.

"Oh, well, if you want to, we're going to hang out at Nicky's room after curfew, so… you know, maybe go there for a bit, and try to have a good time, and then if you still feel like it, we can talk." She said with a confident smile (because she couldn't stop grinning like an idiot).

Piper smiled for the first time and said barely above a whisper:

"Yeah, I'd like that" she said without registering the implications of what just came out of her mouth. But felt suddenly excited, like having something to look forward to.

"Cool, see ya' at dinner?"

"Well, we have to see each other at dinner, dummy" Piper joked.

"Very funny, Chapman." Alex said before heading out and closing the door behind her.

Piper felt nervous about being with other people, but she had already said yes. She was putting on her headphones when Alex poked her head through the door and told her frowning:

"Aren't you going to class?"

Piper started having a fit of laughter because Alex had just noticed. After a few seconds, Alex was laughing too, partly because she was ashamed and another huge part because she really liked Piper's laugh and she felt giddy.

"No, I'm supposed to be with my parents, so don't say a thing"

"Okay" she was about to close the door again.

Piper smiled.

 _Maybe Alex wasn't bad at all. Maybe Alex wasn't just beautiful on the outside._

* * *

In the classroom everyone was settled working on an essay about English Literature when Alex tried not so subtly to sneak in.

"Vause, late again." Professor Figeroa said uninterested.

"Sorry professor, I had an issue with my book" Alex took her seat.

"It's the third time, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to punish you, so, tonight, after dinner, I want you in my office" she said without even looking at Alex.

Alex's heart sank. This was the opportunity she had to talk to Piper, and this bitch was about to destroy all hope she had.

"Professor, I'm sorry, could the date be changed to tomorrow night? It's just that I have too much homework to do and…" Professor Figeroa cut her off, looking at her with disgust.

"Do I look like I care, that's your responsibility, as well as arriving _on time_ to my class, which you have failed to do, so… no. Tonight. My office" she returned her gaze to her book to point out that the conversation was over.

 _Fuck_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Enjoy_**

* * *

Thursday, November 29, 5:00 p.m., still a gray day, but everyone was cheerful because tomorrow meant teacher's assembly and they would be free all morning, so the cafeteria was louder at that moment.

At Nicky's table, the girls were talking animatedly about what they would do later, planning on how exactly to make Soso disappear for a good few hours, they were all giving different ideas, Nicky eventually suggesting that she could stay, they could get her drunk and send her to sleep. They were all laughing and bantering, except Alex, who was sulky, to say the least.

Piper came to the cafeteria, smiling a little because she decided she would try to spend more time at the gay table if she was to acclimatize to those girls, she was going to be a few hours with them, _drinking,_ so she took her tray with food and walked shakily towards them.

She sat quickly beside Alex who was just looking down at her tray, not talking and not eating, but when she felt someone sit beside her, she looked up and was caught off guard by the piercing blue eyes that were looking directly at her, and she felt like she was going to blush, so she cleared her throat and looked the other way, saying:

"Hey, everyone, you all know Piper?" she failed miserably because Nicky burst out laughing because she was crimson red.

"Yeah, I think we all know her, given that we all take classes together, asshole," Nicky said, gasping for air.

Piper started laughing too, and everyone seemed to accept her, of course, they were bantering with her the whole time, but it was good nature bullying, saying things like: "I don't get why you're here if you have rich parents" and it was the most stupid thing to say, because it was Nicky the one who mentioned that, owning a round of teasing and a punch in the arm because it was exactly her same situation. Piper was called everything from Chapman to college (Tricia insisted that she was going to be the only one to achieve that), and Taylor Swift. And she found Lorna really hilarious because she was downright racist but she didn't seem to be doing it on purpose or in a hateful manner.

Four tables to the left, Stella Carlin was sitting with Brooke Soso, annoyed by the Asiatic girl, because she wouldn't shut up about how good it was for the planet to be vegan, and she was discussing that she knew that humans were supposed to be carnivorous but she thought that it was more important to take care of the planet they lived in because if not, there would not be humans left to eat any meat and so on…

Stella stopped listening to her a while ago and she was just staring at Piper and Alex. _Fucking Alex, she's hot, but not like me. What can I do to have Piper's attention? Maybe this annoying girl could help me… I don't need to tell her anything, just put her in the right place…._

Piper felt comfortable, in spite of all the things she was made fun of, because she noticed that Alex was no longer isolated from everyone else, in fact, she was smiling and joking too, and every time that anyone said a really good joke, Alex would glance at Piper while laughing heartily and Piper would secretly (even for her) enjoy it. She was dying to ask her about the projection thing, but she couldn't find the right time, so they all kept eating their food and joking, until the bell rang, signaling that dinner time was over. They had one hour left of classes, it was Philosophy and it was the class that Piper (and Alex) were both waiting for. So they put their trays on top of the bin and walked to their rooms to gather their things for class.

Piper was separated from the group because Mr. Healy requested a word with her, so she motioned to the girls that she would join them later and went with the teacher.

Alex was saying to Nicky that she had just decided:

"I won't be in detention tonight. I don't care what the consequences are, I want to be there in your room, drinking with you guys and Piper" she said pointedly, and it was the worst thing she could have said because Stella was right behind her and she listened to everything.

She let them go a few feet away before she turned to Soso and told her: "Hey girl, do you wanna… maybe hang out tonight?" she said looking Brooke in the eye and putting a strand of hair behind her ear, noticing the goosebumps she caused her and smiling with a mischievous glint in her eyes that Soso misread totally, thinking that Stella felt something for her too because Brooke found her really cute.

"Yeah, of course… want to sneak out of the building?" Soso asked hopefully but Stella had other plans.

"How about I go to your room tonight, I hear they're having a 'party'?" she said stroking gently Brooke's chin.

"But they don't want me there, I know it," she said sadly.

"Well, we'll go there, and they will accept us there because otherwise, we'll be snitching," Stella said laughing.

* * *

Back at Healy's office, Piper was sitting down on a chair in front of the man's desk, waiting for him to return. She was fiddling nervously with the hem of her shirt when Healy came back to his office with Professor Figueroa.

 _Shit_

Both Professors were talking endlessly, telling Piper that they were there to help her, that they knew that visitation with her parents didn't go well, that she looked like she was alone, that they thought she was depressed, that she didn't seem to be making friends, and all the kind of shit a 'Psychologist' would tell, and Piper was just nodding or denying with her head, unable to speak, because she didn't feel like sharing with them.

After a while, Professor Figueroa told Piper that she had permission to skip class if she was in the meeting with her parents, and given that she wasn't, she lost an important grade on an essay they did, so she told her she would have detention that night, after her last class, to which Piper just nodded and said:

"Okay, I'll be there, I'm sorry, could I go now? I don't want another detention" she said, suddenly feeling sad because she was having such a good time with Alex and Nicky and the others and now she couldn't be there.

"Don't worry, Chapman, I'll take you to your classroom so you don't have any trouble." Mr. Healy said happily, standing up and walking to his office door, to open it for Professor Figueroa and Piper. They all left the office and Professor Figueroa turned around saying: "I'll be waiting for you in my office, 8:00 p.m. sharp" and walked away from them.

Mr. Healy walked Piper to her classroom, telling her that she should come visit him to talk about her feelings. Piper didn't say anything and thankfully, before she was forced to say something, they arrived at the classroom.

"Sorry to interrupt Professor Reznikov, I took Piper here to my office, but now she's back, sorry to bother you," Mr. Healy said with _sickening_ doe eyes.

Professor Reznikov turned her head to look at the plump man, with a fierce look:

"It's okay, Professor. Thank you" she said in her heavy Russian accent before turning around without further attention to the man that stood stupidly outside of the classroom, until Piper had walked all the way to her desk on the left side of the room and sat down. The man shook his head and started walking away.

"Chapman, page 348, start reading, twenty minutes and then we'll discuss what Plato had to say," Professor Reznikov told Piper, a little bit harshly, but Piper knew that was her way of speaking.

Piper slowly opened her book on page 348. _Symposium_. She thought it was an odd name because she was used to names like _Lysis, Ion, and Gorgias_ , but she started reading and found herself immediately sucked in on the dialogue, it was an intense debate on different views of love and she was in awe at the theories presented in front of her. Somehow she felt a special appeal for Aristophanes' speech because he explains why people in love say they feel "whole" when they have found their love partner.

He said in the dialogue that people must understand human nature before they can interpret the origins of love and how it affects their own times. He believed that in primal times, people had double bodies, with faces and limbs turned away from one another, spherical creatures who wheeled around like clowns doing cartwheels and these original people were very powerful.

He explains that there were three sexes: the all male, the all female, and the "androgynous," who was half male, half female. The males were said to have descended from the sun, the females from the earth and the androgynous couples from the moon. These creatures tried to scale the heights of Olympus and planned to set upon the gods and Zeus decided to cripple them by chopping them in half, in effect separating the two bodies, so they wouldn't be able to climb the Olympus, and ever since that time, people run around saying that they are looking for their other half because they are really (literally) trying to recover their primal nature. The women who were separated from women run after their own kind, thus creating lesbians. The men split from other men also run after their own kind and love being embraced by other men and those that come from original androgynous beings are the men and women that engage in heterosexual love.

And lastly, Aristophanes claims that when two people who were separated from each other find each other, they never again want to be separated. And somehow, Piper felt happy, she truly believed at least at that moment that there was someone out there who was searching for her and she turned to look at Alex, to see what her expression was, because she knew that Alex would never believe any of those things and she must be laughing, but to her surprise, Alex was reading, totally focused and with her brows creased in utter concentration.

Piper smiled a little because she thought that Alex was actually enjoying it, in spite of her badass façade.

Alex's mind was traveling really far away, and everything she read she imagined perfectly, like somehow she was there, witnessing the Symposium, and she read avidly every theory, liking a lot Eryximachus' speech because he claims that love affects everything in the universe, including plants and animals, believing that once love is attained it should be protected. And she thought about her mom, about the love her mom had and vice versa, but she knew this was not the place to cry, so she continued reading trying too hard to focus on what was in front of her, when she felt someone staring at her, and by the position, she knew it was Piper, so she kept pretending to be concentrating hard, so she didn't look away from her book.

Professor Reznikov's booming voice startled everyone:

"Okay, time to discuss," she said, walking to the edge of her desk and sitting on it.

* * *

Five minutes before the class ended, Alex packed her things (previous permission from Professor Reznikov) and left the classroom. She told the professor that she had detention, which was true, but she left and went to hide on the edge of the trees outside the main building, she was going to wait for half an hour there and then go to Nicky's, she hoped Nicky would entertain Piper enough for her to catch her.

Back inside the classroom, as the bell rang, Piper packed her things and went out of the classroom quietly. She started walking fast to Professor Figueroa's office when she felt a hand on her shoulder, so she turned around and saw Stella smirking.

"Chapman, you don't talk to me anymore, are you avoiding me? Stella said casually

"No, I'm not, I just have to go, I have detention with Figueroa," she said rolling her eyes.

"Oh… well, that's too bad, but, you won't be alone there, Vause has detention too" Stella winked and turned around, walking to her room.

Piper felt incredibly happy after hearing that. _Of course, she was late again today._ So she walked a lot more chipper than she cared to admit to detention.

After the short walk to Professor Figueroa's office, Piper stood outside the door and knocked softly.

"Come in" came the muffled voice of Professor figueroa.

So Piper opened slowly the door and went inside the office.

"Sit down, Piper, please. Tonight all you have to do is read the chapter they all read in class and make your essay. As soon as you're finished you can leave." Figueroa said without looking at Piper.

"Okay, thank you" Piper said and started opening her book.

"I'm waiting for another young lady, _if_ she arrives, please notify me, I'll be on the room next door, thank you", she said, standing up and walking to the said door, before disappearing through it.

 _I guess detention won't be that bad if Alex is here, or anyone I know, really._

* * *

Stella walked fast to her room, where Soso was waiting for her, and she told her to wait for her a bit outside, which Soso did.

Stella entered the room, expecting to see Alex, but there was just Tiffany, listening to music and watching her reflection in the mirror. Stella hoped Alex didn't change her mind about detention and went out of her room again in a rush to see where Alex was. She was determined to not let the two of them see each other tonight. And Soso was going to be very helpful.

"C'mon girl, let's go have some fun" Stella said seductively and Soso felt giddy.

* * *

 _ **A/N: Thank you HurricaneDrella, you're a big part of this chapter.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Enjoy**_

* * *

Alex was quietly sitting behind two large trees at the right side of the two buildings, 20 minutes have passed since she got out of the classroom and snuck out, and here she was, trying to make out the movement inside the building, counting the windows.

"First building… three, four, five to the right, top row." Alex was saying out loud as if that would make sure she wasn't wrong, and squinting her eyes, she noticed that Figueroa wasn't in the room anymore, but the lights were on and she was sure there was someone sitting, but couldn't see who.

 _Poor bitch there in detention._ She thought, waiting for Nicky to give her a signal that it was safe to enter the building again. She supposed that if there was someone else in detention, that would probably mean that Figueroa wasn't going to look for her, so she figured it could be safe to try to sneak back in, so she quietly stood up and started walking along the edge of the trees that surrounded the grounds on the back of the building reaching the other side of both buildings.

This was the spot they all used "secretly" to smoke, either cigarettes or weed and she remembered she had that joint she took from Piper. She wondered if there would be a day where she could share that joint with her, and talk about all the shit they like. She was sure that weed was a great opportunity to make Piper go deep in her thoughts about the projection thing that was still hanging in Alex's mind, she couldn't let it go because she was sure that only the two of them understood what the other was trying to say and it made her feel like _maybe_ there was something special about Piper, except that the fact that she had a major crush on the blonde.

 _Something deeper._

Alex burst out laughing at that thought, because she was starting to thing stupid corny shit that only pussies believe in like movies and that sort of stuff, but no. She was badass Alex Vause and she just simply had a crush on a girl that didn't threw her panties at her. _That's it. She's a whim. That's why I feel like this is huge and that's why I can't stop thinking about her._

She totally forgot what she was supposed to be doing and stood there for a few minutes, mesmerized by the moon and the surroundings, trying to convince herself that she was absolutely **not** falling _in love_ with Piper, because she wasn't totally perplexed about her beautiful mind and specially not getting lost every damn time she saw those stupidly gorgeous blue eyes. _No._

* * *

 _Why did I think Alex would do something right?_

Piper was annoyed. More because of the fact that she actually _expected (wanted)_ Alex to show up than because she was there alone and after twenty minutes, she had absolutely nothing on her paper sheet. She tried with all her might to actually read the fucking chapter about how English literature developed into a global phenomenon.

 _Why should I care? It is a global phenomenon and that's all that matters!_ She thought frustrated. And tried to focus on reading the annoying chapter.

After reading the same line three times, she sighed and stood up, kicking herself mentally, she just needed to do that essay and she was free to go with Alex. _With everyone!_

She started pacing the office of Professor Figueroa, book in hand, forcing herself to take in the words presented in front of her, when, while getting closer to the window, a certain Alex caught her attention, standing still "hidden" from view.

 _She's an idiot. I'm going to tell her that her secret spot is totally visible from Professor Figueroa's office._

She was amused by that fact but quickly remembered that she was supposed to be with her in detention and opened the window.

* * *

Inside of Nicky's room, Lorna was talking animatedly with Tricia, Nicky and Boo. The last two were pissed off because Soso blackmailed them so they'd let them stay, so they had no option.

"I have an idea that might actually work for both of us Nichols" Boo whispered to Nicky.

"What?!" she asked annoyed "Tell me fast, I've got to go and look for Vause and for Piper, I came by her room before but she wasn't there"

"I won't tell you everything just that I'd really like to have little Soso in my bed, I know she's an annoying little shit, but she doesn't have to speak at all" Boo said laughing too much.

"Yeah, whatever _Carrie_ " Nicky laughed before ducking to avoid Boo's angry fist on her left arm.

"I'm off to fetch Bigfoot" Nicky announced to all of them.

A few feet away Stella heard Nicky and excused herself from Soso, saying that she had to use the bathroom and that she'd be back soon, Soso insisted on going with her, but she made sure that she wouldn't follow her by telling her that she would earn a price if she was patient enough, and winking sexily, got out of the room, trying to quickly reach Nichols.

"Nichols!" Stella caught up with Nicky right when she was going down the stairs.

"Shut the fuck up, fucking Dingo fucker!" Nicky whisper-screamed, looking alarmed, eyes wide and an angry hand reaching up in a fist.

"Okay, sorry!" Stella raised both hands in mock-surrender.

"What?"

"Let's go look for Alex, I was supposed to tell her something."

Nicky eyed her suspiciously. After all, she knew all about Piper and the plans Stella had with her, but she figured that since she was in the same room as Alex, they'd figure a way to get along nicely, so she just shrugged and continued downstairs.

"What's up with you and Soso?" Nicky suddenly asked her after going down two floors.

Stella's eyes widened in surprise, but she managed to recover quickly, before responding nonchalantly.

"I like her" she said simply.

"And you're playing to see if blondie and/or Asian fall"

"Yeah, I bet I can get them both."

"Don't wanna be rude aussie, but I bet you that I can beat you to it, eyes closed." Nicky clicked her tongue and winked.

Stella started laughing "Is this a bet Nichols?" They were reaching the trees where Alex told Nicky she'd be.

"You can bet your ass, and even then I'll win" Nicky said cockily.

* * *

Piper opened the window of Professor Figueroa's office, and crumpled her paper sheet to toss it to Alex.

She did and miserably failed. So she tried with her pencil, and _un_ fortunately she didn't fail.

"Ow! What the fuck!" Alex muttered and looked around her, squinting her eyes, until she heard someone giggling above her, so she turned her head to look at none other than Piper Chapman on Figueroa's office.

"Piper? Why the hell would you do that?" Alex said trying not to yell but still be heard by the blonde.

"Sorry Alex, but you deserve it. You're supposed to be up here with me."

"In detention, and you're enjoying the view down there, while I'm stuck here with nothing on my essay!" She said smirking. Alex was looking at her without saying a word, actually considering going to her detention.

"I'm going to tell Professor Figueroa that I found you" Piper motioned to walk inside the office again and Alex desperately yelled.

"No, Piper, wait!" So she returned to the window, trying very hard not to smirk.

"I'll go to detention, you can copy my essay and help me with whatever the bitch leaves me, so we can go to Nicky's, how does that sound?" Alex said timidly, raising a brow.

"That sounds perfect, Alex. I'll wait here for you, so I'm not bored to death here."

"Cool" Alex had a full smile now, and could not erase it from her face.

* * *

On the other side of the buildings, Nicky and Stella were looking for Alex.

"Yo, Vause, the cost is clear, you can come out now" Nicky whispered to the trees.

Nothing happened, so they went to look behind, but still, Alex was nowhere to be found.

"Maybe she went already to your room?" Stella offered hopeful.

"We should've seen her, asshole" she thought logically.

"Well, then where is she, genius?"

"I'll go in deeper, to see if she's there" She pointed to the darkness of the little forest that was ahead of her.

"Are you crazy? What if something happens to you?"

"Shit, you're a fucking chicken, Dingo motherfucker"

"Damn, Nichols, okay, let's go there, but I bet you, she's not there, at least not _alone."_

"What are you trying to say?"

"That either she's already in your room, or somewhere dark with a girl"

"Oohh, she's probably making out with Chapman!" Nicky said on purpose.

"Nah, Chapman's on detention with Figueroa". _Shit._

"What?"

"Shit, yeah, she told me she was going to detention."

"And it didn't occur to you to tell me like half an hour ago when I went by her room looking for her?"

"Sorry man, I was busy with Brooke"

"Okay, let's go back to the room, perhaps you're right and Vause is already there."

* * *

Alex quietly snuck inside the building, all the way up to Professor Figueroa's office and gently knocked twice on the door.

She heard Piper knock on another door, then muffled voices, and after something less than a minute, Professor Figueroa opened the door.

"Professor, good night, I'm really sorry about being late again, I just had a p-"

"I don't care, Vause, at least you showed up, that is something." Figueroa moved aside and let Alex inside.

"Please, Vause, take a sit." She indicated the desk with her right hand and crossed her arms, waiting for Alex to sit down.

After she did, Natalie Figueroa stood still and didn't say a thing for a while, until she closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath and looked at Alex.

"You'll make an analysis on Hamlet" She said seriously.

Alex was about to open her mouth to protest when she caught a glimpse of Piper behind Figueroa waving at her and mouthing "I've got it" so she just took a deep breath and said calmly:

"Okay professor, as soon as I finish I'll hand it over" and smiled hypocritically.

Professor Figueroa quirked her eyebrows but didn't say anything, and when she turned around to look at Piper, she was completely focused on her book.

"Good job Chapman, I'll take it you'll be finishing soon?"

"Yes professor, don't worry." She smiled sweetly.

Figueroa told them she'd be on the other room and to knock when they were finished, and again, disappeared behind the door.

"What a bitch!" Alex whispered bitterly.

Piper giggled again. "Don't worry, I'll write your analysis, I've overanalyzed Hamlet before, because I just like it too much, and you write my essay because I can't fucking concentrate on this boring chapter.

Alex looked at her, amused by Piper's attitude, because she kept on rambling and didn't even noticed that Alex was watching her intently, quirked brow and everything, until she turned her head to Alex's direction and saw her that she fell silent and started blushing.

"What?" she asked embarrassed because she always talked too much.

"Bossy much." Alex laughed heartily, making Piper blush even more.

"I'm sorry, I just thought that I'd be the best thing since we both –"

"It's okay, kid, I'm just amused, and perplexed."

"Why?"

 _Because you're too beautiful._ "Why would you overanalyze Hamlet! It is hard enough to read"

"It's not _that_ hard, because once you really go deep inside the character's mind…..."

Alex wasn't even hearing her anymore.

* * *

Back in Nicky's room, they noticed that Alex hasn't show up there, so they decided to go to her room.

Stella opened the door without knocking, because she didn't need to, but Nicky almost tackled her on her way in.

"Not here!" she yelled, causing Tiffany to jump frightened by the sudden sound.

"Bitch, get out of here or I'll tell Professor Healy that you've been spying on me"

"Oh please, Dogget, what would I look in you?" Nicky said while heading out and Stella closed the door carefully

"Where the hell is she?" Nicky muttered.

"Maybe we should report her missing…?" Stella suggested, maliciously of course.

"Bitch, please, you know what'll happen to her, so… no. Let me think."

"If she doesn't show up soon, we better report it."

"Shut up, you know they're going to look everywhere and our little party will end up with me not even getting the chance to have a single drink."

"Vause is fine, just don't know where."

"Fine, suite yourself, I'm going to Soso now." Stella said smiling. They had a bet now and she wanted to win.

"Yeah, whatever, I'm still going to win." Nicky started walking in the opposite direction, suddenly thinking that Alex could be on the other fucking side of the buildings, smoking. _Why didn't I think of this before?_

So she went almost running to the spot, hoping that Alex was there. She wasn't, and now she was worried, and pissed, but she was sure that Alex was safe. Or she forced herself to believe it.

"Psst, Nichols" Nicky turned her head up, to the window above her and to her left and couldn't help but smile. _There they are. Motherfuckers._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Hello, dear readers. I'm absolutely sorry for the enormous delay in this chapter but life has been... well, life and a really good friend of mine was killed last week, so I sincerely apologize if this chapter is a total crap. I'll definitely try to update quicker from now on.**_

* * *

Piper was writing Alex's essay hurriedly while Alex was _almost_ copying her own essay for Piper to hand in when she suddenly stood up and went to the window to open it.

Piper turned to look at her, a puzzled expression on her face.

"What are you doing? We must hurry to finish this soon and go to Nicky's room!" She said excited.

"Yeah, I know, I'm almost done, I just want to smoke a cigarette" Alex said casually.

"Are you crazy? Figueroa is on the next room! She'll smell the smoke!"

"Piper! You're too good, come on, just a little bit of adrenaline" Alex chuckled.

Piper stood up and walked to the window to stand next to the taller girl.

"I've never smoked before" She confessed in a hushed voice.

Alex almost snapped her neck by turning her head too fast to look at her, bemused.

" _What? Really?" What about the joint?_

"Yes, I haven't. My brothers did it all the time, they even smoke weed, but I haven't… I mean, I'm certainly curious about it but… no."

"Do you want to?"

"I'm not so sure, what if I cough? I know everyone coughs and chokes…" Alex burst out laughing.

"What? You'll make fun of me, exactly like you're doing right now" Piper said with fake hurt in her voice.

Alex tried to keep her face straight and said: "No, I won't make fun of you _Pipes_ ".

" _Pipes?"_

"Oh, I'm sorry, it just came out, I didn't mean to-" but before she could finish her sentence, Piper grabbed the cigarette from Alex's hand and put it in her mouth, motioning for Alex to light it.

Alex quirked and eyebrow but didn't say anything, she just started rummaging through her backpack, searching for her lighter. When she found it, she lit it and got it close to the cigarette hanging on Piper's mouth.

She inhaled not too deeply and tried to pass the smoke to her lungs but _effectively_ started to cough by the sudden intrusion in her lungs.

She narrowed her eyes at Alex, daring her to laugh, but she didn't.

"It's okay Pipes, I mean, Piper- just don't inhale too much at first, just a bit and try to hold it in"

"It's okay, I mean the nickname." _It sounds really cute._

She tried a second time to smoke, succeeding this time, when Alex peeked through the window, narrowing her eyes and whispered "Psst, Nichols".

Piper peeked too, smoking and noticed Nicky looking at them with a shit-eating grin.

"I've been looking for you, motherfuckers, fucking Stella almost went to Healy's!"

"We're almost done here, so we'll meet you at your room!" Alex said rolling her eyes.

"You already made her cum?" Piper started coughing furiously and had her face colored as red as a garden beet.

Alex opened her eyes in surprise, her heart beating too fast, blushing too and then looking murderous.

Nicky was laughing her head off, enjoying the reactions from both of them.

"Shut up Nichols, go get drunk, I'll beat the shit out of you when you're hungover, motherfucker."

"A'ight, have _fun"_ And she started to go back inside the building, taking exactly the same path that Alex took before.

All the light mood that was there, was gone by now and the two of them felt uncomfortable after Nicky's comment, so they finished the cigarette in silence and went back to work.

After almost half an hour later, Alex sighed and said that she was finished.

Piper nodded and after several seconds she replied: "I'll be done in a few minutes, if you want, hand it over and I'll catch up with you" without looking at Alex.

The truth is that after Nicky's words, she had trouble focusing on fucking Hamlet because she started to _wonder._

 _How does it feel to cum? How do you make another girl cum? Guys are so easy, but…_

"No, don't worry, I'll wait so we can go together" she said smiling, although Piper didn't see her.

Piper sighed "Okay" and after almost 8 minutes she finally stood up and handed Alex her essay and Alex gave Piper hers. They knocked on Professor Figueroa's door and waited.

She opened the door with an annoyed look on her face. "You finished?" and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Do I smell smoke?".

Piper looked scared but Alex started speaking: "Yes, Professor, there were three boys down there, smoking" She said pointing to a spot outside.

"Those boys, they are always incorrigible. Okay, give me your essays" she said tiredly. They both gave them to her and waited to be dismissed.

Professor Figueroa skimmed through them and nodded in approval. "Great, you can go now. Don't ditch class again, and don't be late Vause." They both nodded and walked directly to the door.

* * *

Inside of Nicky's room it was pure chaos.

Soso was beyond drunk, laughing uncontrollably at everything Big Boo said, Big Boo getting closer and closer to her, trying to take advantage of her drunken state and make her move, Stella was half pissed at this, half relieved, but mostly, plotting how to win her bet with Nichols, so she was trying to hit on Lorna. She was sure that this was going to hurt her like anything else, so she figured that her best conquest would be the little brunette.

"Hey, Morello, are you drunk enough?" Stella said with her best "charming" smile.

"Enough for what, Carlin?" Lorna said giggling, she was half drunk and had been talking to Tricia, waiting for Nicky to return.

"Well, for this, of course" Stella said and quickly leaned closer to Lorna and kissed her soundly on the lips.

Lorna was shocked at first, and thought of Nicky, and how jealous she would be, so she started to pull away from the other girl, but then she thought that Nicky was probably kissing or doing something else with another girl and felt hurt, so she started kissing Stella with more passion.

If there was a worst moment for Nicky to enter her own room, this was it.

She stood by the door, in shock.

She felt her world collapse into a million pieces, her lungs screaming from air that she wouldn't allow in, her heart pounding viciously in her ears. She suddenly felt every emotion she had right in a lump all over her throat, threatening to make her cry.

But, she was Nicky fucking Nichols, she didn't cry for any girl. _This is not any girl._

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and took a deep breath, trying to still her trembling limbs and stood straight, walking confidently to the girls.

"I take it you're all having fun" she said, laughing, reaching for the bottle of alcoholic poison.

Lorna stopped kissing Stella abruptly and seemed frightened.

"I- I was waiting for- for you. Did you find A-Alex?" She said with quivering voice, watching Nicky closely.

"Yeah, I did, she's with _Piper"_ she got lucky tonight. Poison draped all over the words spoken more to Stella than to Lorna.

"But you know what? _I_ might try to hit on Piper too, because she's pretty, and has this beautiful _long_ legs that are to die for." She said looking Lorna in the eye.

"Don't you think, Morello?"

"She's… she's pretty, yes, but Alex is your friend." Lorna said with pain evident in her voice.

"I know, but if it's not me, it's going to be _her"_ she said pointing to Stella. "Better between friends, right?"

"Oh, don't worry about me, I've got my eyes on another gorgeous girl" Carlin whispered, winking at Lorna.

Morello started to laugh nervously and excused herself, saying she needed to use the bathroom.

Once she was out of earshot, Stella said happily to Nicky: "Enjoying the bet?"

Nicky tried with all her might to play it cool, to outsmart fucking Dingo, to make her believe she didn't care, but failed because she did care. Too much for her own good.

So, naturally, she punched her right in the face.

Her hand hurt like hell but she felt **so** _ **happy.**_

Elated.

Stella, like the coward she was, grabbed her face with both hands and swore, but didn't fight back, just spat the next words to Nicky:

"You're gonna regret this." And stormed off the room, heading to the bathroom to clean her face that was now covered in blood, because her nose was bleeding profusely.

Nicky looked at everyone around her and nobody said a word, they were all tense and prepared for a fight that never came, so when Stella left, they all kept doing what they were doing before, except Poussey, who wasn't exactly invited, but was a friendly enough face.

She came near Nicky and started joking and laughing, trying to lighten the mood.

* * *

Lorna was sobbing inside a stall in the bathroom, trying to calm herself, but every time she was starting to feel better the thought of Nicky _**not caring about her**_ returned and she sobbed harder.

Someone entered the bathroom and she kept quiet, trying to hear who it was, hoping it was Nicky, looking for her, but she was disappointed to say the least when she heard Carlin's voice, calling out her name.

"What?" She said with quivering voice.

"Come out, what happened? We were having fun." She was saying while taking paper and rolling it to cover her nostrils and washed her face.

"Sorry, not in the mood anymore, please just go, I want to be alone."

"Are you sure? At least let me walk you to your room again, I'm heading to mine, so, I'll just leave you there, I promise."

"No, thank you, I'll stay here a little longer." Lorna said, taking a deep breath. "Just go."

"Okay, your loss. But I have to say, you don't have to be crying for a girl that does not deserve you. See you." She knew those were the right words to say at this moment, and they started to work their way inside of Lorna's mind.

* * *

Alex and Piper were walking to Nicky's room after leaving Professor Figueroa's office when Alex asked Piper if she had enjoyed smoking.

"Well, it was weird, and felt funny, but I liked that after it, I felt light headed, so… yeah, but I need to smoke again, to be able to give an opinion"

"You're always this _proper?_ " Alex laughed and pulled Piper by the hand, going in another direction.

"I wanna smoke again, let's go to our secret spot".

Piper started laughing and Alex stopped abruptly to look at her as if she'd gone mad.

"Sorry, it's just that, just after spotting Nicky today there… do you still think it is secret? I thought you were more _intelligent"._

Alex put her hand on her chest, feigning indignation.

"That's not the one, moron. That's where we tell everyone our secret spot is, so they don't _actually_ know where it is."

"Oh, sorry. That makes sense."

"And I thought _you_ were the one with a bright mind." Alex showed Piper her tongue and started running downstairs.

Piper caught up with her and outran her easily, reaching the grounds graciously, Alex reached her several seconds after, looking out of breath.

"You can't run for your own life" Piper laughed at Alex.

"Shut up, I have no fault in you being an _athlete"_ Alex panted trying to catch her breath.

"The only athlete here is Janae, she's really fast."

"Oh, yeah, you're right. I just don't care" Alex started walking to the other side of the building, Piper trailing behind until they reached another spot and Alex sat down unceremoniously on a big rock. Piper followed her and sat beside her while Alex lit a cigarette and took a long drag.

"Want some?"

"Nope, thank you. Too much for today" Piper said smiling shyly.

"Okay, you're probably right. So… do you mind if I ask you something?"

Piper was nervous, but figured that maybe it wasn't too bad talking with someone who intrigued her like Alex did. Stella intrigued her too, but in a different way.

Piper had been thinking a lot about that situation, and she realized with panic that she _liked_ Stella. She liked her face and her smile, but she also thought that it was because she looked so much like a boy. But Alex…

"I'm sorry, I won't ask anything" Alex said concerned because she saw how Piper was lost in thought.

"Oh no, don't worry, I just got distracted, but shoot"

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

"Okay… Why did you end up in here?" Alex asked softly and Piper released the air she was holding hostage in her lungs.

 _Oh, that._

"Because someone accused our parents of abandonment, you know? Neglected kids and everything. And in a way we were abandoned, they were there, but not with us, I mean, my little brother was already smoking weed and my big brother flunk out of school. I just did great in everything because I wanted to. It was what kept me sane, having always something to do. And reading… I love reading, so, basically, my brother is better since they brought us here."

"And you?"

"I'm not really sure how I feel." Piper said honestly.

"I know. It gets pretty fucked up and weird at first, but once you get used to this shit, it is better. And anyway I don't really think you'll be here too long, you're going to get back home before you know it."

"Thanks, I'm just not sure anymore that that's what I want, or if that's what's better for me and my brother."

"Why, though?"

"Because I kinda hate my mother, and in here, ironically, I feel free."

"I don't get how anyone could hate their mother" Alex sounded _angry._

"Well… I don't really hate her, you know?... and… why are you here?"

Alex swallowed hard and took another drag from the cigarette before responding.

"I lived with my mother, never really knew my father, and she died."

 _Oh my God._ Piper felt the need to hug the other girl but stopped half the way because she didn't know how Alex would react. She looked very sad and Piper regretted asking her.

"I'm really sorry, Alex, for your terrible loss. And for asking." Piper said sadly.

"It's okay"

"…"

"I still miss her. Every damn day."

"Oh, Alex." _To hell with it._ Piper hugged her and it was the strangest thing for Alex. It freaked her out a bit.

Strange, but fucking **great.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hello, I'm really sorry for the late update, it's finals week and I'm dying here, graduation is around the corner and I'm trying to pass all my courses. Haha. I hope you like this chapter.**_

* * *

December 23, 08:35 am.

Almost a month and a half had passed since Piper arrived at Litchfield Foster Home and just a week since she and Alex had talked sincerely and properly for the first time.

Since that day, all that Piper had wanted was that Alex would feel better and comfortable around her, she knew that Alex never talked about her mom and she wondered what made her do it the night of the party.

 _Maybe she needs someone to talk to, someone she can trust? But she has Nicky..._ She mulled this over and over, never quite getting an answer that would satisfy her, but she didn't let that get in the way.

 **They** were getting closer and closer every day, just being friends, bantering, laughing, joking and telling each other stories from their childhood.

Piper told her everything about her parents and how they were perfect(ly oblivious to) for each other; all the times her father would cheat on her mother and about the time she tried to tell her mother but all she received was a punishment because her mother -knew- but didn't want to acknowledge it. And also, how her mother was slowly destroying herself with superficial stuff that kept her numb and out of her problems. Piper also mentioned that she was sure that her mother cheated on her father too, but she couldn't confirm it.

Alex just told her how her mother used to treat her and how much she missed her, and although she never had to worry here about what she would eat, she'd rather had her mother, both of them trying to make ends meet, because the truth was that her mother was her best friend and her everything, so she'd rather be hungry all the time and knowing she had to work than being here, assured meal but no mother.

Piper always felt sad and wondered how it would feel to have someone who cared about you unconditionally, to have someone to love you that much.

 _I'll never know._ She always thought sadly, but little did she know...

"What are you giving me for Christmas?" Piper asked biting her bottom lip, trying not to laugh.

"What? You shouldn't ask that, Pipes, especially not while we're in here, you know that if I had money or could actually go out and buy you something, I would but-"

"Relax _Al,_ I'm joking, I know! But that doesn't mean that I won't give you something because it is Christmas and everyone should receive something".

 _I'm just happy having you here and being able to spend Christmas with you._

"I'm just happy we won't have classes until January, to be honest" Alex said chuckling, staring right at the blonde's eyes, trying not to convey too much emotion.

And failing.

But Piper was too excited to even notice because it was the first time in her life that she would actually spend Christmas with people that weren't too busy trying to make believe everyone else that they were the perfect family.

She had Cal right there and Danny had surprisingly come to visit them, which made her feel better because he was doing okay and with her and Cal gone, both her parents paid attention to him for a change and he told her little sister that he felt weird but really good because they were spoiling him with whatever he wanted, and he had thought about her and Cal. He brought Piper a couple of books and an iPod loaded with Piper's favorite songs and a PSP to Cal and told him to hide it well so it wouldn't be confiscated. Both siblings were happy with their gifts, but happier because they were able to see their big brother.

"I got my shit together and I'm going to graduate finally. I will have to make great effort but I've decided that I'm going to med school."

"Shit bro" Cal said amused.

"I knew you'd come around and I also know you're going to make it. What did our parents say?" Piper almost yelled excited.

"They are thrilled. Father will pay for everything because he said "I'll make them so proud"" Danny exclaimed air quoting the last part and the three of them burst out laughing.

Suddenly, getting serious, Danny told them: "I'm really happy that you both are doing okay. I just realized how much I miss you, but I know that soon you'll be back home with us"

They shared a knowing look, silently telling the other that they were -sadly- happier here.

And the first thing Piper thought was that she didn't wanted to go, because she didn't want to leave Alex alone.

 _Maybe she can come home with us..._ Piper thought rather hopefully.

* * *

Nicky had been trying to forget everything about Lorna without actually forgetting, because they were still "friends", but the reality of things was that it was fucking hurting her like hell because she accepted (to herself) that she was in love with Lorna, but to everybody else she was "just another girl".

Except for Alex. She knew the truth even if Nicky was too proud to say it, but she knew her best friend was totally depressed and it was reaching a point where it was starting to be dangerous to Nicky because she was saying things like "commit suicide", "end everything" and "no one would care or even notice" too often and Alex noticed that she was not joking when she bitterly said those words, eyeing little Lorna smiling and blushing while talking to motherfucking Carlin.

 _The day after the party_

 _Lorna woke up really early and left the room to go to the showers, classes would start in two hours but she couldn't sleep even though she felt drained, because she was hurt. More by the fact that Nicky acted like she didn't care at all about her kissing Stella than by the fact that later that night, Nicky made out with every girl that passed in front of her. Sure, she felt jealous but she felt_ _ **angrier**_ _because she thought that Nicky loved her, she was sure. She_ _ **almost**_ _felt it every time Nicky kissed her, but surely she was mistaken because if she did, she wouldn't kiss every girl in the world in front of her and be smiling and happy._

 _"Fuck her" she sobbed while taking a cold shower. "I'm going to be happy with whoever I want Nichols, and you will return crawling and begging for me to take you back, but I won't because you broke my heart"._

 _"There there, gorgeous. You don't need to be so sad. Especially not for her"._

 _Lorna jumped a foot in the air at the sudden intrusion and felt her heart beating wildly inside of her chest._

* * *

Alex took Nicky outside of the building, trying to distract her, to pull her out of the darkness that was clouding her mind. It was almost midnight and Alex, Nicky and Piper were hiding on their secret spot.

"Pipes... I hope you don't get mad" Alex started while rummaging on her backpack, searching for something.

Piper didn't have a clue as to what she was talking about and with brow furrowed she waited for Alex to continue.

"Are you going to propose there, Vause?" Nicky said laughing.

Alex turned beet red and smacked her in the head. "Shut up dumbass, you're going to enjoy this too".

"Oh, a threesome?" The lion-haired girl shouted, raising her eyebrows.

Piper was the one who hit her this time, but it didn't go unnoticed by Alex that she was blushing furiously, but she didn't want to think too much about that, telling herself it was just because of the sexual theme, although deep inside her, she wished that it was that Piper liked her that way or worse, she dreaded that it was because Piper liked Nicky.

So she stopped thinking and cleared her throat, finally pulling something out of her bag.

"The first week you arrived here, you dropped this in the middle of the room and I kept it" Alex said carefully, showing them the joint.

Piper was wide-eyed and tried to speak but she couldn't.

"Don't worry, kid. I ain't gonna judge you. I was just going to ask you if we can smoke it".

Piper released a breath she was holding and started laughing hard.

"I've never-"

"Wow, Chapman, you're worse than I had imagined". Nicky told her, winking at the blonde who was trying to decide if she wanted to smoke or not, because she certainly was curious but she was scared too.

"Shut up Nichols, I haven't, and honestly, I'm scared that if I try it I'm going to become an addict-"

Nicky and Alex turned to look at each other and started laughing, but were quickly silenced because Piper stood up and started walking towards the building, looking really angry.

"Shit!" Alex cursed, standing up and trying to catch up with Piper.

"Pipes, wait! Don't go!" But Piper didn't even listen, but kept walking.

"Please, come on, why are you even mad? It's not a problem if you haven't smoked or if you don't want to, we won't force you or anything".

Piper stopped walking abruptly, causing Alex to bump directly into her, making both of them stumble and fall.

Alex was lying on top of Piper and all she could think about was that the blonde had the most beautiful eyes she's ever seen.

Piper, on the other hand, was trying to get out of her mind the _dirty_ thoughts she was suddenly having, while she was feeling every part of Alex's body on top of her.

She wished she could feel her skin against her skin and for reasons unknown she thought again what it would feel like to cum _on Alex's mouth_. _Wait, what?_

Piper started breathing heavily and Alex was just repeating a mantra in her head.

 _kiss her kiss her kiss her kiss her_  
 _What would she do if I kissed her?_

But she would never know because Piper pushed her hard and tried to breathe properly.

"You're really heavy, Alex, you should exercise" Piper sounded still mad but her trembling lip betrayed her.

"Oh, shut up, you were enjoying it". Alex wiggled her eyebrows and chuckled.

"No, seriously, let's go back". Alex stood up and extended her hand for Piper to take.

"But don't make fun of me again" Piper whispered and pinched the brunette.

"Ow! Okay, we won't, I promise".

They returned to their spot, laughing and Nicky just rolled her eyes.

"Will you light that shit or what?"

* * *

"Baby, why are you so down? You're with me now, and everyone hates you for that" Stella said with a cocky and over confident smile.

"You're the worst. I know, I'm sorry." Lorna said and leaned in to kiss Stella half-heartedly.

She didn't really want to be with Carlin, but she gave her what Nicky didn't and she craved for.

 _Attention_

Even if it was for the wrong reason (and Lorna knew it, because she found out about the bet from Boo) she still loved attention, and although she felt really sad and she knew that her "relationship" with Stella didn't feel right, she was still there because she was angry with Nicky and she finally noticed that she was not okay and it made her happy, to see her suffering over her, so she kept the act and tried to act as a loving girlfriend with Stella whenever she was near Nicky, just to make her jealous.

She wished and hoped that the wild haired girl would say something, and she was sure that when (if) she did, she'd leave Stella right away and try to do things differently with _her_ girl.

* * *

Alex lit up the joint and took a long drag, holding it in for as long as she could, before passing it to Nicky who did the same and smiled with relief.

"Chapman, will you?" she asked, handing the joint to Piper.

"How…?"

"Just inhale a bit, and try to hold it" Alex said, sitting straight.

"Okay, but don't you dare laugh if I cough" and she took it from Nicky's hand, exhaling nervously before putting it between her lips and taking a drag slowly.

She felt how the smoke burnt every part of her throat all the way down to her lungs and she managed to hold it in her lungs for about three seconds before she started releasing it as fast as she could, the urge to cough getting stronger until she couldn't fight it and began coughing a bit.

"Easy tiger, you did good" Nicky said putting her arm around her shoulders and Piper turned her head to look at her, smiling sweetly. She really wanted Nicky to feel better, because she knew that she was hurting, not because she really let anyone see it, but because Alex had been worried over her best friend and had told her everything.

"My turn" Alex said, trying to break the moment they were having, and took the joint from Piper's hand, smoking again.

After a couple of rounds, they were talking about everything when Piper suddenly said: "Oh god, I feel so far away and then I blink and I'm right here next to you, but I blink again and I see you so far again!"

They both turned to look at her and she had red, glassy eyes, while they were still sober. "No more for you, Chapman, enjoy your trip." Nicky said easily.

Alex pulled Piper's iPod from her jeans pocket and turned it on, selecting _Strawberry Fields Forever_ and pressing play.

"I want your opinion now. Listen to the song and tell me everything that comes into your head." Alex said smiling, enjoying the relaxed state she was.

"I feel like I'm third wheeling here…" Nicky muttered but Piper heard her clearly.

"Yeah well… but don't go, you're enjoying the trip too."

Alex's heart had never beaten harder before, but she thought that Piper wasn't being serious because she was stoned as hell, so she started laughing hysterically, making the other girls laugh like crazy too.

"You're crazy Pipes, but I like you, my friend. And don't get jealous Nichols, I like you too."

They kept joking and enjoying themselves, dancing and singing when Nicky leaned in closer to Alex and whispered:

"Why didn't you kiss her when you had her on the ground?"

"Because I'm a pussy, that's why".

"Whoah, Vause couldn't kiss a girl, the world will end now."

"You couldn't kiss who?" Piper asked curiously.


	9. Chapter 9

" _You couldn't kiss who?"_

 _Shitshitshitshitshitshit What should I say? What if I just say: "You, Pipes, I couldn't kiss you"_

"Piper… have you heard about the bet that Carlin and I have?" Nicky asked, saving the moment for Alex.

"Bet? No, which one? And what does Alex have to do with it?" Piper asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, Carlin and I have a competition… we're trying to prove who can make out and/or have sex with more girls… and I tried to make our good friend Alex here enter the bet and she couldn't kiss some random girl because she's falling for-"

"I didn't want to enter the stupid bet" Alex said quickly, interrupting Nicky because she was sure that her friend was about to tell Piper everything.

And… she wasn't wrong when she said that she was falling in love. This thing that she felt was no longer a crush, she knew that she was starting to feel other things for her newest friend, and it scared her shitless, but she was also mesmerized by her whole existence.

"Alex! Who are you falling for? I want to know! I'm your friend after all, and I could help you!" Piper said excited to help her friend with such a task.

"No, I'm sure you can't help me, and I can't tell you right now, Pipes, I'm sorry."

"Oh, come on, Al, I won't tell anyone, really"

"Nu-uh, not right now, Piper, please" Alex said, turning around to reach for the iPod to put on some music again, for them to dance and forget the whole thing.

She chose _What's up?_ by _4 Non Blondes,_ and as soon as the song started she told her friends: "We all know this one, right?! Let's sing!" Hoping that the issue at hand would be forgotten.

So the three of them started to sing at the top of her lungs, laughing again, and just enjoying the song, when Nicky told them that she was actually very cold and told them that she was going to her room to fetch a sweatshirt.

"You guys want me to bring you something?" Nicky asked, already walking towards the buildings.

"Nope, I've got it, thank you." Piper said laughing, while Alex just gaped at her like a moron.

Of course, the moment they were alone, Piper had to ask:

"Is it Nicky?"

"What?" Alex asked, knowing perfectly what Piper was talking about, but playing dumb.

"Nicky! Are you falling for her?!" Piper asked seriously.

"Why? Do you like her?" Alex dreaded the answer but she thought it was the best way to ask her friend this, because she have been noticing her behavior with Nicky.

"Me? Why would you ask that, Al? I'm not into girls… I think" Piper said, looking confused.

"You think? So you're not sure?" Alex asked, her mind betraying her.

 _Maybe I have a chance after all. Kiss her dumbass. NOW!_

"Why do you ask if I like Nicky? I mean… have you noticed anything weird between us?" Piper widened her eyes, not because she was worried about liking Nicky and that anything showed, but because she was _really curious_ about Alex, and for the past month she had been fantasizing with the brunette's lips.

She didn't have a crush, she was sure of that, but she really wanted to know how it felt to kiss a girl, and other (not so innocent) things, specifically with Alex, but she kept thinking over and over that it was not because she liked _liked_ Alex, but because she was her friend.

 _And she's absolutely beautiful._ But in a straight way, of course.

"To be honest, yes." Alex said painfully, starting to feel jealousy creeping inside of her chest.

Piper felt the air abandoning her lungs as she realized for a split second the emotion concealed in Alex's eyes.

 _Pain._

Realization hit her, all at once. Alex wasn't hitting on her to piss her off, that's what she made her think because she couldn't hide the way she looked at the blonde.

Heart pounding fast and loudly, shaking voice and constricted throat, Piper managed to say:

"It's not… it's not because of her, I think."

 _Could it be that she's talking about me?_ Alex felt a hole in her stomach and her lungs seemed incapable of keeping their shit together, for a bolt of electricity surged from beneath her brain and traveled down to all of her body, making it impossible to form any coherent thought.

"Assholes, have you noticed? It's Christmas Eve!" Nicky came out of nowhere yelling, happily.

Alex looked murderous. _Fucking_ _ **great**_ _timing, Nichols._

"Yeah, motherfuckers, Christmas Eve! And I'm really happy!"

"Who would have thought that you loved Christmas, I had you pegged for a Grinch, green and all." Piper laughed.

"Yeah, I am, but I just saw Lorna shouting at Carlin" Nicky said smiling from ear to ear.

 _Carlin! I'm such a fucking idiot… the girl she's talking about is fucking Dingo._

"Fuck her, I hate that motherfucker, I hope Morello realizes what she's doing, _oh,_ but I'm really sorry, I won't speak ill of your _girlfriend, Pipes."_ Alex said venomously, her words infected by a drunken, drugged haze of jealousy.

Piper started laughing heartily "Al, I _know_ you hate her. Don't worry, you can say whatever you want, she's my friend, but she will never be my best friend, like you are."

 _There it is. Friendzoned._

 _Fuck._

As the songs kept sounding and they kept joking and planning how they would convince Lorna to let Stella go, Alex felt sadder and sadder, starting to wonder why she was here with them. Regretting every single second she had spent with Piper, fucking falling in love with her.

"See you later guys, I'll go for a walk." Alex said casually. "Alone" she added when both of her friends started to get up to follow her.

"Don't wait for me. I'll see you later." And she turned around, without looking back, lighting a cigarette and walking apart.

"What did we do?" Piper asked, hurt and concerned.

"What did _you_ do, blondie?" Nicky asked her amused by her reactions to Alex leaving.

"We were talking about her _crush_ when you left and she asked me if I liked _you,_ and I think she was jealous."

Nicky's eyes have never been so big. "Do you?"

"Come again?"

"Do you really like me?" Nicky asked seriously. She was in deep shit if Piper liked her.

"No, I told her that I was acting weird but not because of you." She was bright red, but unfazed because of the pot she'd smoked, she didn't care if Nicky found out, she just wanted to really think this through.

Nicky waggled her eyebrows playfully. "Too bad, I can show you so many things" she said laughing, relieved.

"That's the thing." Piper said, thinking hard.

"I do want to know… certain things, but –"

"You want her to teach you!" Nicky barked, laughing and twisting her tongue, biting it.

"Fuck… well, yes. I've- I've been fantasizing for a while now, but I'm pretty sure it is just _curiosity,_ because I don't like her _like her,_ or feel in love or anything, I'm sure she's my friend and I'm just curious."

"Well, blondie, curiosity killed the cat, and as much as I always want people to get off, I think that if you don't feel _anything_ at all, you shouldn't make a move, because you'll break her heart. For real."

Piper started crying, out of the blue. One second before she was okay, but now she was crying like a baby. Not a perk of being intoxicated.

"I know. I figured it out hours ago, she tried to keep it hidden, but I saw it." Piper sobbed.

Nicky put an arm around her shoulder to try to comfort her. "Chapman, come on, it's okay. Don't fucking cry, I mean, if you don't say anything, she'll get over it. Eventually. So don't feel sad."

"I don't know, Nicky."

 _Why does it hurt so much that she decided to go? Am I just kidding myself?_

"Of course you don't, asshole, because I think everything you just told me is bullshit."

Piper turned her head to look at Nicky, concerned and nervous. _Could it be that I show something that I can't see?_

"What do you mean, Nicky?"

"I mean that I think that this cat will die."

* * *

Alex was furious. Not because Piper didn't like her back, but because she was really close to blowing everything off because she stupidly thought for a moment that Piper might be talking about her.

She felt sick, but it had nothing to do with the substances they consumed. It was because all at once, in a particular second where she sat down, all the memories from her mother assaulted her. She thought about Christmas Eve at home. She and her mom would sing stupid Christmas carols (although Alex hated them) and drink hot cocoa. They never had fancy dinners because money was always short, but they were really happy just the two of them, talking or watching movies, listening to music until sunrise.

 _But now, here I am._

 _Alone._

 _Stoned._

 _In love._

 _Heartbroken._

 _Stop it, Alex, don't go there. Just get up and return to them, try to be happy with your friends. Don't be a selfish asshole._

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes for a while, Alex stood up and started walking back to her friends.

Obviously, and because life's a cruel shit who likes to play tricks on people, because when she was getting closer to them, she _had_ to watch Nicky putting her arm around Piper, and Piper acting nervous.

 _Fuck. I can't._

So she turned around and walked all the way to her room. Crying in silence.

* * *

Almost everyone was in the halls or in the dinner room, being Christmas Eve, they had permission to do anything they wanted (Clearly, not drinking or having drugs.)

Stella was trying to convince Lorna that she was indeed interested in her, that she was just flirty, that was who she was, according to her, but it was obvious that Stella was sick of Lorna, she simply wanted to hurt Nicky by having sex with her, before discarding her like an old toy.

Lorna was sure that she made a mistake, and that she needed to tell Nicky that she was sorry, but she was too proud to do it, so she just played along, waiting, _hoping_ that Nicky would take the first step, although she knew deep down that the lion haired girl would cut her right arm first.

Lorna felt like she was out of place, in the dinner hall, talking with all these girls that had nothing in common with her. At the distance, she could see Boo, Tricia, Brooke, and the African-American girls, laughing and joking.

"You know, Stella. I'll be back, keep chatting with _your_ friends. I'll go with _mine."_ She said, proudly, walking straight to them.

"Yo, I'm telling you! There's no way she was serious about that shit!" The short, little girl she knew as Washington was yelling, when they all turned around to look at her.

"Hi, I was wondering if I could come and hang out with you? I'm kinda sick of that lot." Little Lorna pointed at Stella and her horrible friends.

They all started laughing and immediately told Lorna about the last hot gossip they heard about Professor Figueroa and Principal Caputo fucking in the theater.

And just like that, she felt home again, like she belonged, it turned out that Washington, Jefferson, Hayes, Watson and even Warren were cool, they were loud and weird, but they were fun and they didn't discriminate her like she thought they would.

"Hey Boo? Have you seen Nicky?" Lorna asked boldly.

"Yeah, she's outside, smoking her shit" Boo said happily, she was talking, for some reason to Tricia and Tiffany.

Funny how Christmas really brings people together.

Lorna was walking towards the place where she knew Nicky smoked, and she noticed that Alex was missing and that Piper looked really weird, and Nicky was annoyed.

She cleared her throat and quietly said: "Nicky?"

Nicky almost hurt her neck, turning her head faster that she thought she was capable of. She quickly stood up and with shaking legs took a step closer to her former lover.

"I'll just go, Nick. Talk. I'll try to see if I can do anything with my little problem." Piper said, defeated and left the two of them to talk.

"Okay, but trust me, blondie. Better act now. She's probably beating herself on and on about it."

"Thanks. Good Luck. Bye Lorna."

The smaller girl just nodded, trying to start a decent conversation with Nicky after all this time.

"Girlfriend let you come and talk with me?" Nicky asked sarcastically.

"Fucking shut up. She doesn't know. And I don't care right now."

Nicky was starting to feel her stomach do pleasant twists and she was dying to kiss Morello right then but something told her that this was not what she came for.

"I just realized that I don't fit with her, that I don't feel okay, it was a stupid thing to do, and I really miss my friends."

 _Ah, there it is. Acceptance and Denial at the same time._

"I really miss you, Nicky. All of you." Lorna hugged her tightly.

"You're killing me, Lorna." Nicky said trying not to cry.

"Why? Because you're so tough and I'm hugging you?"

"Yes… that's why." Nicky said with a flat tone.

"But hey, I'm happy that you decided to come and talk to me, you know we all missed you too. At least I can say that I have missed you a lot. And you can't even imagine."

"I know, Nicky. I love you so much guys. You're my family."

"Can you let go now? And, you're shaking, let's get inside, here." Nicky said while taking off her jacket and giving it to Lorna, putting her arm around her waist to walk inside.

 _Someday she'll be mine._

* * *

Piper literally ran all the way to her room. She was sure that Alex would be there, and if she wasn't, she was going to look for her, because she had to tell her.

She decided, halfway to her room, that she was much of a coward, so she returned to where she left Nicky and Lorna to drink something to give her the courage to do what she was about to do, but she would never find out if it would have worked out or not because while she was standing like an idiot in the middle of the hallway, someone grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth.

She was dragged to an empty classroom and when she finally was released, she was surprised to see it was Alex, smiling at her.

"Al, I was- I need to tell you something."

"Shh. Don't say a word. Not now, please. You can tell me whatever you want later" the brunette whispered.

"What are we doing? And why are we whispering?" Piper whispered too.

"I don't want us to be heard, classrooms aren't allowed."

"What are you planning to –"

Piper had to close her eyes and tried her best to stay on her feet because she couldn't finish her sentence, for there was a soft, pink pair of lips covering hers.

And it was a thousand times better than she had been fantasizing, hell, she didn't even imagine that she would feel her chest ignite as if it was about to explode, or that she would feel _so_ lightheaded, drunk again, but oh, so very different than being drunk on alcohol.

She was intoxicated, from the very beginning, her lungs screaming for air, but she would not dare break that kiss, she was purely and totally enraptured.

She never in a million lives, imagined that she would feel a tingly sensation and wetness between her legs. She wasn't even familiar with that, but it was absolutely amazing.

Alex tried to consciously think about Piper kissing her back, but she was so thrilled, so intoxicated that she just let herself get lost, her mind void of everything, just filled with Piper's essence. She felt home. Beyond adjectives or words to describe this heavenly sensation.

Alex broke the kiss.

Neither said anything.

They stared at each other for several seconds, and Alex tried to convince herself mentally, that she had to let Piper know that it was just a one time thing, that she was not going to bother her, and that she was going to still be her friend, she just wanted to kiss her, at least one time.

But that was impossible, because that "Just one kiss" was more than enough. It made every emotion and feeling Alex had, real. She fucked everything up.

"What was it? What were you going to tell me? Just tell me, before I can talk to you about what just happened." Alex said without looking at her.

Piper was surprisingly silent. She was breathing heavily and discovered how it felt to be turned on, _really turned on._ So she clearly wasn't thinking when she put her arms around Alex's neck and began kissing her like there was no tomorrow.

Lips moving faster every second, a gentle bit of lip by Piper, and tongues battling for dominance. Both of them were lying on the floor before they could even register what was happening.

Piper wasn't sure of what she was supposed to do, but she knew she _needed_ contact, so she took Alex's right hand in hers, without breaking the kiss and taking it to the part of her body that demanded attention.

Alex smiled into the kiss. She was too far gone to think about the consequences of this particular action between the two. She began touching lightly Piper's center through the fabric of her panties and her pants, drawing painfully slow circles.

Piper moaned. Loud. And it was music to Alex's ears, she discovered that just that simple and primal sound a human being can make, was enough to take her to the edge.

Piper suddenly stopped.

"We have a room." She said panting and with hooded eyes.

"Really? Now?" Alex said almost hysterical, trying to find the humor in this.

"Yes, please." Piper ventured and licked the shell of her ear.

"You're making this impossible. Let's go! Like now!" Alex stood up at record speed and helped Piper get up.

It was almost time for everyone to start getting ready for breakfast, and although it wasn't as early as it would have been on a class day, they still had to hurry up.

They arrived to their room and thank god it was empty, so they entered and locked the door.

Alex couldn't wait any longer, so she threw Piper into her own bed and climbed on top of her, claiming her lips again.

Alex poured her heart in every action because she felt that it was a "once in a lifetime" chance, so she kissed Piper passionately, with abandon, playing with her tongue, exploring every inch she could.

She made Piper open her legs a little bit and put her right in the middle, barely making contact with Piper's center.

Light pressure. Moan.

More kisses, desperate this time.

Alex made Piper sit down and took off her sweatshirt and her shirt all at once, without even asking for permission. The sight in front of her was powerfully alluring. Even with her bra on, Piper's breasts looked incredible and all Alex wanted to do was suck those nipples she could make out standing proudly even through the fabric.

She retreated and started undressing, while Piper focused on taking off her tennis shoes and her socks.

When Alex was _almost_ naked in front of her (bra and panties on) Piper pulled her on top of her again, desperately seeking skin to skin contact.

It was pure bliss, and she felt so aroused that she moaned into Alex's ear.

Alex didn't even ask it was okay, but she took off Piper's pants and could practically smell the blonde's arousal through her panties, but looking into Piper's big _darkened-blue_ eyes and her expression of pure **lust** was more than enough of a reassurance for her to continue.

So she kissed her fiercely and suddenly kneaded her left breast, making the Piper scream in pleasure, which made Alex moan in a low, raspy voice.

She let go of Piper's lips and started kissing her neck, nibbling and sucking on every spot she found that was particularly sensitive.

Piper, yet again, desperate for release, took Alex's hand from her breast and guided it inside her pink panties, trembling with anticipation.

Alex positioned her lips right above Piper's right ear and breathed: "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." And without warning she put her index finger right on top of Piper's clit.

Eyes rolling to the back of her head. Back left the mattress.

Piper had been with boys before, but no boy had ever done this. Alex was making circles on Piper's clit with just the _right_ amount of pressure, driving Piper crazy.

Piper looked down to Alex's toned body and she swore that she felt arousal gushing out of her at the sight. Her breasts looked mouth watering on her black laced bra and she suddenly felt the need to touch the brunette.

So she took her hand to Alex's breast and kneaded it a bit, relishing in the glorious sensation, but it didn't last long, because the brunette stopped all contact she had and took both of her arms to the top of her head and pinned them with her left hand.

She leaned down to kiss the blonde again and devoured her, while taking her hand to her core.

Maddening, slow circles.

Mind blowing kisses.

Piper stated to feel her legs and abdomen tickle and go numb for a while, right before she felt trails of fire rippling through her body.

Vision fading to black.

Fire pooling low in her abdomen.

Alex stopped kissing her and just stared at her, admiring the blonde beauty as she came undone. Going still for a split second and then shattering into a million pieces, trembling uncontrollably while she reached her orgasm.

Mouth agape.

Back arched.

Loud moans.

"Al-" and she couldn't breathe properly because it was the most intense sensation she had ever experienced.

Alex kept rubbing her clit, slowly and with almost no pressure, until Piper came down from her high, and the brunette was starting to feel anxious because she didn't know what to do next.

The spell was broken. Time was up.

But luckily for both of them, there was a loud knock on the door, followed by Tifanny's annoyed voice.

"Hey! Open, up. We need to be ready for breakfast."

So they started dressing as fast as they could, Piper with shaking legs, managed to put her clothes on and threw herself on her bed, while Alex opened the door.

She was never happier to see Tifanny.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I'm really sorry for the *rude* amount of time I made you wait. I hope you're still interested in this story, I just had a lot going on.**_

 _ **I finally graduated!**_

 _ **And I really had a major writer's block, which I hope had ended.**_

 _ **I hope you liked this chapter.**_

 _ **I love you all, and thank you for reading.**_


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas breakfast wasn't as bad as regular breakfasts, they could actually choose what they wanted to have.

Alex chose pancakes because it was what she always had with her mom, Nicky went with –insipid oatmeal and Big Boo had scrambled eggs.

Lorna and Piper where nowhere to be found.

Alex was still shaking, extremely nervous about the outcome of the recent events. And she couldn't eat for she was scared but happy at the same time, and it showed on her face but Nicky didn't say a word.

In fact neither was talking at all.

Alex had fucked things up with Piper, Nicky let Lorna friendzone her again and Big Boo discovered that she was attracted to Tiffany, as weird as that may sound. So they all felt relieved when Poussey and Taystee asked if they could sit with them because they had a fight with the others.

"Yeah, of course."

"Don't even ask" they answered because they would make things a lot less awkward when the others arrived.

"It actually smells nice in here, for a change –"

"Man, and wait for dinner! I really love Christmas!" Poussey said enthusiastically.

"Calm down, it's not like we're getting presents or anything" Alex told her in a flat tone.

"Jeez, I know, but that's not the important part of Christmas, I love presents, but the nice thing about it –" she stopped mid-sentence because Brook entered the cafeteria, walking decidedly and with her face lifted, smiling slightly.

When Poussey didn't finish her sentence, everyone turned to look at her and noticed what or who she was looking at.

"Don't bother." Big Boo said annoyed.

"What?" Poussey asked her.

"She won't put out." Boo said matter-of-factly.

"Wow. I don't-"

"If you really like her, go and talk to her, dumbass." Taystee said shaking her head to Big Boo and turning to look Poussey in the eye.

"What's the worse that could happen?" Poussey ventured.

Both Nicky and Alex snorted and started laughing but stopped abruptly because Lorna entered walking slowly and whispering things with Piper who looked like she could kill anyone.

They went to get their breakfasts while Poussey walked all the way to Brooke's table, sat down across her and smiled sweetly.

"Uhm… hello." Brooke said shyly but smiled nonetheless.

"Hey." Poussey said dumbly.

"Look at that dork." Taystee said smiling from ear to ear.

"She looks really nervous" Piper commented while sitting down farthest from Alex but looking at her when she said those words.

"Yeah, but I have to admit she's brave." Taystee chirped proudly.

"Yeah, she is. I hope she doesn't get her heart broken." Alex commented to no one.

Piper felt that that comment was directed particularly towards her, but didn't say a thing, she just continued eating, still thinking about what just happened.

She wanted to tell Nicky everything because she was sure that the lion haired girl was the right person to help her out. So when Poussey returned for her tray to take it to Brooke's table all happy and cheerful, she stood up, walked to Nicky and whispered in her ear: "I need to talk to you. Like. ASAP."

Nicky was watching Alex while she pretended to not see the exchange in front of her and just nodded to Piper.

She excused herself and told the others that they definitely had to meet outside in a couple of hours for a snow battle and followed Piper out of the cafeteria, still holding her mug of chocolate

"What happened, blondie? Did Alex took advantage of you?" Nicky said joking when they arrived to the theater, but nearly spit her drink because Piper was crimson red from her neck all the way up to her ears.

With wide eyes and open mouth she told Piper "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"…"

"How could-? Things escalated quickly…" she waited for Piper to say something.

"Yes, we did… stuff, but I couldn't say that she took advantage of me. Not _per se._ " Piper said cautiously, watching the door all the time to check that no one heard her.

And Piper told Nicky everything that happened, except obviously the details, and stressed the importance of what was going to happen next.

"Do you like her?" Nicky asked with her moronic grin.

"I don't even know, Nicky! For God's sake. I guess the only thing I can assess right now, put on Katy Perry's words is: I kissed a girl and I like it" Piper yelled the last part.

"Great, I think the boys didn't hear you back in their building." Nicky laughed.

* * *

 _Great! She practically has sex with me and goes after Nicky._ Alex bitterly thought and from the moment they left the cafeteria, Alex couldn't help but be sulky and annoyed at everything and everyone.

Lorna was humming and smiling peacefully while eating her breakfast and that made Alex angry.

"Why are you so happy?" She spat at Lorna

The shorter girl stopped smiling and turned to look at Alex. She knew part of the story because Piper told her that she had figured out that Alex wasn't flirting with her to annoy her but because she really liked her and Lorna made Piper say that she kinda liked her too but wasn't sure if it was _that_ way, so she just grimaced and said:

"Don't be jealous, Vause. Nicky wouldn't do that to you. First, I know she wants me, and second, Piper doesn't like her." Lorna winked at her and stood up to go to her room to prepare for the upcoming snow fight.

"Piper doesn't like who?" Taystee asked, not because she really cared, but because she loved gossip and was bored because Poussey replaced her this morning and she was talking with Boo, who apparently was boring.

"Piper doesn't like Vause." Boo said venomously.

"Shut up, you don't know anything." Alex said hurt and stood up too. She knew that Boo was just playing with her, but what she said really got her.

|1234567890'

"Hey, Morello." Alex knocked on her room.

"Yes, Vause." Lorna answered from inside. "Come in."

Alex opened the door and found Lorna putting on red lipstick.

"Why did you say those things back in the cafeteria?" Alex said straightforwardly.

"Because that's the truth and I know you like Chapman." Morello said sympathetically.

"Fuck." The tall brunette said while sitting on Nicky's bed. "I'm so fucked."

"I'm sorry, but I think you are, because as far as I know, Chapman is straight." Lorna said because she didn't have a clue about what happened.

Alex felt a knot in her throat and a thousand blades going through her heart at once. She wanted to scream and cry her eyes out and Lorna noticed.

"I'm really sorry, Vause." She felt like crying too and sat down beside Alex to hug her.

"I… I better stop this now." _Before it's too late._

 _Who am I kidding it IS too late._

"Maybe it will be difficult at first, but when you get over it, you can be friends. Look at Nicky and me. She loves me, but she knows it can't happen, and we're still friends." She said calmly.

 _And that's fucking killing her._ Alex thought. But realized that Morello was right. She needed to get over Piper, because as much as it hurt to admit, what happened between them was caused by Alex and obviously just because Piper was curious.

"Thank you." Vause said broken hearted and stood up, walking towards the door. She decided the best thing to do was just ignore the feeling and stop talking to Piper. For good.

* * *

"If you can't correspond her like she wants, you better stop, you need to stay away from her for a little bit, until she calms down." Nicky muttered, already feeling sad for her brunette friend.

"But I like being her friend. I really like her and I love her because she's my friend, I couldn't be apart too long because she makes me feel happy." Piper said sadly.

Nicky knew that it was a matter of time for Piper to come to the conclusion that she was actually in love with Alex, and she knew that being apart would work, because Piper was going to miss her. The problem was Alex, because knowing her friend, the moment she decided to walk away, she'd _really_ walk away even if it hurt to death.

"I know, but she needs this. If you care about her, you know what the right thing is." The shorter blonde sighed.

* * *

Around noon, visits started coming and Piper was relieved to see her parents and his brothers. She felt better when she talked to both Cal and Danny because they kept joking.

Carol and Bill Chapman bought presents for their children and brought them to Litchfield. They gave Cal a new PSP and Piper received a new iPhone. And Piper asked her parents to buy her presents for her friends.

They were happy and everything but Piper decided that she needed the experience of someone older, so she bravely decided to tell Danny everything and ask him for his opinion.

"Mom, dad, would it be okay if I talk to Danny outside?" Piper asked politely.

"No, of course not, honey, go ahead." Bill said smiling.

Danny was perplexed but followed Piper to the grounds.

The sun was there in the sky but it was cold and everything was covered in snow. It smelled really nice, the smell of the trees covered in snow and the mist that formed.

Danny was enjoying the view, waiting for his sister to talk.

"I… I need your help." Piper blurted out.

* * *

December 24, 9 p.m.

"… and so I'm glad to be with you girls." Professor Reznikov was finishing her speech and they were all gathered in the cafeteria, about to enjoy a decent dinner.

The whole Foster Home was decorated according to the day, but the cafeteria was the prettiest hall because it had candles and fake hoarfroast, mistletoe hanging secretly here and there by some girls because it wasn't clearly part of the original decoration. And of course they had a big Christmas tree in the front, adorned with bright flashing color lights and ornaments. The top was adorned with a plastic shooting star instead of the classic angel.

The cafeteria smelled like home. Nuances of scents mixing with each other, creating a really cozy environment. Everyone was happy, about to start dinner.

Everyone but Piper, because she was trying to catch Alex's eyes and she kept avoiding her, but most of all because Alex was sitting down on Stella's table and it was the weirdest thing on earth.

Piper was about to faint because, although she had noticed that Alex was purposefully ignoring her, she wasn't even close to prepared to what her eyes were seeing: Alex seemed uneasy but was trying hard to flirt with Stella.

And Stella was flirting back.

* * *

A/N: Big, giant apologies for the massive delay.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hello, here's another update. Two in three days (: I hope this kind of make up for the excessive delay before.**_

 _ **Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

"Seriously, Vause. You're hot, don't get me wrong, but what about Chapman?" Stella asked in her aussie accent arching her right eyebrow.

"I got over her, no big deal. Just as you did." Alex rolled her eyes when she stood up and started gathering her clothes that were lying on the floor to get dressed.

"Bullshit. But I don't mind." The Australian girl laughed. "You just gave me ten points." She stood up and put her right hand on Alex's left cheek and closed the gap that separated the two, kissing her one last time.

"Asshole." Alex managed to say while putting her pants on.

Stella started getting dressed too, before anyone found them.

"Okay, so I'll leave first and you wait a few minutes, right?" Alex muttered.

"Yeah, Vause. Although, by now, everyone knows what we just did because everyone saw us leave the cafeteria, genius." Stella said cockily.

"I know, but still." The taller girl added "It's not like we're dating now so…"

"Ugh, no. I couldn't date you." Stella grimaced. "Don't take it personally, I just can't date anyone seriously."

"I don't care at all." Alex said proudly and opened the door to leave the empty classroom.

|1234567890'

"Blondie, you didn't have to!" Nicky whispered in Piper's ear when they hugged. Piper had just given her a rolling machine, rolling papers and pot that she managed to get thanks to Danny.

"I know, but I wanted to, Nicky. Merry Christmas." Piper said nervously. She had been trying to avoid thinking about Alex and what she could be doing with Stella.

 _She's free to do whatever she wants. I don't care. I just want to see her to give her the present, that's all._

She was watching the hall doors in case Alex returned and Nicky was trying to distract her any way possible. "Want to give my present a first use?" the shorter blonde asked, clicking her tongue loudly.

"Fuck it. Why not?" Piper convinced herself "Lead the way, Nichols."

"Lorna, let's go outside." Nicky took the brunette's hand and pulled her towards the entrance, followed by Piper.

"Shouldn't we tell Boo?" Morello asked, laughing.

"No, she's busy." The lion haired girl stopped and motioned with her head to where Big Boo was, speaking with Dogget, both of them laughing.

"Wow, Tiffany can actually laugh, I'm surprised." Piper joked and the three of them sneaked quietly outside where there were boys and girls "hiding" in the woods, although they could totally be seen from the buildings, but the professors were condescending this night.

So they arrived to their 'secret spot' and Nicky started preparing a joint. "Hey Lorna, why don't you try one of the lipsticks that Piper gave you?" she asked happily, watching Morello with puppy eyes.

"Yeah, of course." She took one out of her jacket pocket and opened it to put it on, it was a pink one. "They are really beautiful, Piper, I'm really sorry I didn't get you anything." The brunette said ashamed.

"Oh, no. Don't worry! I didn't do it expecting anything back." Piper said honestly. "You look beautiful, Lorna."

"You think? I'm used to red lipstick." She smiled and turned to look at Nicky to see what she thought and she was practically gaping at Lorna.

"You…" she cleared her throat and looked at the joint in her hands again. "You really look beautiful." Nicky finished without looking at her.

"Thank you, Nicky." Lorna said gleefully.

* * *

Alex was watching her friends from a distance and she wanted desperately to go with them and have a good time, but she decided she wouldn't talk to Piper anymore, so she didn't want things to be awkward today, after all it was Christmas and she didn't want to ruin it for the others so she turned around and went inside to her room.

When she arrived there, she felt like crying because the thing that she noticed first was a wrapped package with her name on it. She felt remorse and an unpleasant knot in her stomach as she got close to the gift.

It had an envelope on top that read 'To my best friend, Alex 3' and she lost it.

The tears started streaming down her face and she could not stop them. She took the envelope and put it aside because she couldn't read shit with her teary eyes, so she opened the present and the knot in her stomach transformed to loud bangs inside her chest, for her heart was pounding hard.

Inside the box was a book, a new pair of regular glasses, sunglasses, a leather jacket and a necklace.

Alex felt stupid.

Wrong.

She was such an immature person. She realized that no matter what happened, Piper wanted to be her friend and she was acting like a selfish piece of shit.

She took a deep breath, sat on her bed and opened the envelope.

* * *

"You should accept your feelings, Lorna. You're not fooling anyone." Piper told her without inhibition.

Nicky heard her and pretended she didn't. Lorna was blushing furiously and when Nicky noticed it, she took a deep breath and said: "I fucking love you, Lorna. But if you're not ready, I'll wait. Until you realize that I'm the one you want." She finished confidently, hands on her hips and all.

Lorna was about to reply to that statement when Piper broke down, crying, yet again.

"Shit, hey, blondie, shh." Nicky put her arms around Piper, trying to calm her down and Lorna mimicked her and hugged her too.

"Why can't Alex wait for me too?" she said without much thinking, influenced by the weed and realized what she just implicitly admitted.

Nicky and Lorna looked at each other with wide eyes. "Piper, can I tell you something?" Morello asked quietly.

Piper didn't reply but nodded. "At first, this asshole tried to make me jealous, then got mad at me for not wanting to be with her, then I got mad and I stopped talking to her, and after a very long time, she finally told me this today. And I really appreciate it." She gave Nicky a meaningful look and a little smile and continued: "She's crushing so hard, but I'm sure that she'll wait for you although it seems that she's doing the exact opposite right now." She finished, wiping away the tears from the blonde's cheeks.

"Yes, I'm a total and complete idiot, Pipes" said a husky voice from behind them.

"Yes, you are, Vause." Nicky intervened, angry at her friend for her little escapade with Stella. "You're such an idiot and I'm sorry to tell you this but you don't deserve Piper" she was lashing out loudly when Alex dejectedly admitted: "I know."

They all turned to look at her and everyone could say that they haven't seen Alex that depressed since she was brought in here, so Nicky gulped and immediately stopped talking, signaled Lorna to follow her and the both left them alone.

Piper glanced at Alex and noticed that she had red, puffy eyes, but she didn't say a word, she sat down on a log in the ground and looked at everything but Alex.

"I'm really sorry, Piper." Alex began with quavering voice.

"Oh, I'm sure you are." Piper said sarcastically.

"How's Stella?" Piper muttered with jealousy.

"I –" Alex got closer to Piper and put her hand in her shoulder but Piper brushed her hand off violently. Alex sighed and continued "I read your letter."

"…"

"I'm such an idiot and I genuinely regret what I did, I'm sorry. I was really scared to talk to you after… after what happened and I was sure you were going to hate me for 'taking advantage of you'" she air-quoted the last part.

Piper scoffed and stood up, finally facing Alex and without taking her eyes off of her she practically yelled "You have no right to think for me! You have no clue of what's going through my mind! You're such an egoistic twat."

"Don't talk to me like that!" Alex yelled too. She was depressed one second ago, but Piper managed to rile her up pretty bad. "I just bailed because you're supposed to be straight and I want to respect that, I really care about you and yes, I have fallen in love with you, so that's why I felt that I should stop talking to you because if I don't, you're going to drive me crazy with your stupid gorgeous smile and the way your blue eyes shine when you are happy, and for fuck's sake, even your ugly crying –"

Fierce lips were suddenly kissing hers and desperate hands were clutching to the front of her T-shirt. Weed, mixed with Piper's own flavor was enough to make Alex float. It was a really intense but short kiss; Piper pulled away and with her stoned, glassy eyes looked at Alex in the most tender way she had ever seen her.

"I'm scared." Piper admitted finally, still looking at Alex.

"You don't –" Alex was cut off "Shut up or I'll never say this again." Alex raised her hands in surrender and nodded. "I'm in trouble because I don't know what is going on in my mind. I'm always thinking about you and the things we do together, when I feel sad, you're the one that I want there to make me feel good, and you can do that, and when I'm happy I want you to know everything, and I'm scared because that sounds like I have a crush on you, but I'm not sure, because I've never had this feelings for a friend before and I'm not…" she looked around and dropped her volume "I'm not a lesbian, Alex, I have thought a lot about it, as I wrote on that letter and yes, I believe I like you but I can't really give you what you want." She said sadly. "Not right now, and I can't assure you that I eventually will."

Alex was perplexed and couldn't utter a single word because her mind was a roller coaster, passing from excitement to rejection, sadness, hope and determination in no particular order. "But, I don't want us to stop talking ever."

Alex nodded stupidly, debating whether she would be able to be her friend or not.

"And also, I'm the worst contradiction because I want to be able to kiss you." She looked down, focusing on her shoes that she found suddenly interesting.

"So, let me get this straight, do you want me here? As I struggle through?" Alex asked, in disbelief

"Shit, when you say like that it sounds really selfish."

"So? We'd be kissing and holding hands and stuff but without dating? Do you want to actually see what could happen or are you playing?" the brunette replied truthfully.

"I – I'd like to know if I… love you… that way, yes. But I don't want us to stop being friends if it doesn't work out and I'm terrified of labels." Piper kept looking at her shoes but fixed her gaze on Alex when she seriously asked her: "Would you be willing to do that?"

Alex pondered for a moment.

 _Maybe she'll come around. Maybe I can convince her that dating a girl isn't the end of the world. Don't be stupid, you're going to struggle through and through._

Piper watched her with her big doe eyes and put her hand on Alex's cheek, caressing her slowly and letting go just to put her arms around Alex's neck, hugging her like a girlfriend would.

 _She really is confused. And she confuses me._

But who was Alex kidding? She was on cloud nine. Feeling Piper's hands on her neck and her proximity bringing a pleasure to her senses; Piper smelled like vanilla and it was suddenly the brunette's favorite smell in all the world.

Alex was melting inside and her heart beating so hard that it was pounding in her ears betrayed her when Piper released her neck and put her head on her chest. Alex just hugged her really tight.

Piper felt a bolt of electricity surge through her and she just felt happy there. She didn't want to question everything right now.

Alex suddenly took Piper's chin and lifted her head softly; looked her in the eye with loving expression and tenderly pressed her lips against the blonde's again, but this time it was a slow kiss, like they were both knowing each other, no battle for dominance and no raging hormones.

Just the two of them recognizing feelings and experimenting young love.

* * *

 ** _A little happy moments between them (:_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hello, how are you doing, friends? I hope you're having a great weekend. I did my best to write this chapter as fast as time let me. I hope you like it. Thank you so much to all of you who follow/fave this story. I really appreciate it. I wasn't sure if it was interesting, but you make me want to keep writing. I love you all (:**_

 _ **I want to thank Boris Yeltsin, deliadediva and JessTerr, as well as the guest reviewers for taking your time to leave a review, you're very kind. JessTerr, you're absolutely right, you always strike home when it refers to my intentions, thank you.**_

December 31, 3:08 am

Six days had passed and things were going really well (or better than they expected). At first, Piper was awkward and kept pushing Alex away just to pull her closer every time, and of course, Alex secretly loved it, because just last night, when everyone was asleep, Piper slid into Alex's bed and woke her up with soft caresses to the brunette's chin. Alex groaned and opened one eye, a little bit annoyed at being awoken at such hour, but she smiled instantly when she saw those big blue eyes staring at her. She closed her eyes again and relished the feeling of Piper's touch for a moment before wrapping her arms around her and pulling her closer, until the blonde was on top of her.

Piper chuckled, she felt good there, the warm radiating from Alex was soothing for her, she rested her head right on her chest and as much as she wanted to stay awake, Alex's breathing pattern and the sound of her beating heart lulled her to sleep faster than exhaustion. Alex noticed immediately that she totally loved Piper's scent, she pressed her nose carefully to the top of her head and enjoyed the smell of something floral. She tightened her grip on the blonde although after the minutes passed by, the effort she had to make to breathe properly was increasing, but she felt so close to Piper that she didn't want to move. About an hour later, Alex finally fell asleep.

They both jumped out of their skin when Piper's iPhone went off, the alarm blaring through the speakers. Piper turned it off, groaning. She took a deep breath and with groggy voice said slowly: "I'm sorry, Alex. You must be sore." Alex shrugged and placed a soft peck on Piper's forehead. "It's okay, kid." She rasped. Piper smiled and descended from Alex's body (and bed) to go to her own. All of this cautions (from Piper) to not get caught were futile, for the last person they wanted, saw them cuddling and sleeping together. She didn't say a word and pretended to be asleep, but in her little mind, this was something that couldn't be happening and it had to end.

Alex didn't fall asleep again after Piper left her bed, she sighed watching Piper fall rapidly back to sleep. She thought about the fact that when she turned 18, she would be released of Litchfield Foster Home, with little to none skills to function in the real world and although a 'secure job' was guaranteed by the professors on the outside, she was beyond terrified, because she knew she wasn't going to make it all alone. She didn't have anyone out and the thought of it made her uneasy. Maybe Piper wouldn't dump her, but she'd have to leave her and she didn't have a clue if things would work out for her or if she'd have to leave town, or if she'd end up dead or in jail. This feeling have been bothering since the moment Piper told her how she felt about all of this, and if she was being honest with herself, she didn't mention that little piece of information to Piper because she thought that if she did, Piper would figure out that it was useless being with her if she was going to leave. Piper had at least two more years of Litchfield if the situation with her parents didn't resolve earlier, but it was almost impossible for them to actually see each other outside. For everything Piper had told Alex about her folks, they would never allow. Time was ticking.

Piper didn't even realized or paid attention to all the little red flags presented on her mind as trivial, like the way her heart pounded loudly when she found herself smiling like a dork at Alex when the latter was goofying around with Nicky, both of them 'building' a snow man and Alex gave her a knowing look and winked at her, or when the brunette had played a 'casual' song one night they were smoking Nicky's stash and sang (rather out of tune) all the words of ' _Accidentally in love',_ and even when she was the happiest person on earth the moment Alex gave her her favorite book. If she noticed that she was actually falling in love with Alex, she didn't want to think about it, but it was more the fact that she decided she would let things flow and she was sure she didn't want to put _any_ label on her relationship with Alex or on herself. She just felt like she had known Alex from several lives before and that's what made it so easy to be around her. That, and the fact that Alex was an untamable force of nature, whose personality radiated brighter than the sun, aside from the fact that she was beyond beautiful and the way she carried herself made Piper weak.

Alex, on the other hand, was head over heels in love with Piper, fact that scared her shitless. She tried to stop herself and several times a day she repeated inwardly that she should try to stop those feelings and to not get used to it because she had a creeping feeling that it wasn't going to last. One way or another this was destined to fail, she thought when the darkest thoughts swirled down her mind. But when she was with Piper, she felt happier than she could remember. She never thought she'd be able to smile the way she did when Piper was near, not since her mother died.

But not everything was forgiven. Nicky still hated her guts in between normal talks because she felt betrayed too. After all, Stella was the one that practically played with Lorna to make her angry. Four days ago, Nicky actually punched her in the stomach, resulting in a painful, breathless "I deserved that." and Nicky partially forgiving her. "You're such an asshole. If you could've thought just a little bit, you'd have remembered that Carlin is... uh… how can I put this? Ah, a total shit and a complete idiotic fucker." Nicky yelled, letting some steam off herself.

After Alex regained her breathing, she breathed harshly "I know." She coughed. "I'm really sorry. I'm not proud of it, really. She wasn't even _that_ good. The way those girls spoke I'd thought she had magic hands, but she didn't. You're ten times better, Nichols." Alex finished without thinking. Nicky waggled her eyebrows and with a smug smirk asked Alex if she could ask Piper about that. "Don't let it go to your head, and if you keep asking those things about Piper I _will_ make sure that Lorna **knows** I'm the best." Nicky's smile faded as fast as it had appeared.

* * *

"I'm happy to see you've finally got used to Litch, sis." Cal smiled warmly and pinched her sister on the cheek.

"Ow, stop it." Piper said bemused by the fact that her little brother was really popular and had at least three boys behind him, practically serving the function of bodyguards and he looked smug as fuck about it. "I'm glad to see you've got your own army." Piper whispered nodding towards the boys.

Cal fell her chest swelling with pride and smiled, lifting his eyebrows. "You know me, sis." He said proudly, then leaned closer to Piper "They are actually afraid of Danny, but I won't complain, they do everything I ask them" he whispered on her ear, turning bright red. Piper burst out laughing and tossed his hair, making him angry. "Not here!" he whisper-shouted.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." Piper felt happy with her brother, and felt the sudden need to make sure he acquainted with Alex. She was sure both would love the other. "Tonight, after dinner, meet us in the clearing, right on the side of the north building, would you? I'd like you to meet my friends, they're alright, after all, tomorrow is your 13th birthday and I'm sure I can get hold of a beer for you." Piper said innocently.

"A beer?" Cal scoffed "Sorry, sis, but if you want, I can get a whisky?" he chuckled and finished "Yeah, okay, by the look in your face I'll assume that you're shocked at that, but don't be. With the boys you have to be like this to survive, and don't worry, I'll get that and I'll see you and your friends there." Cal hugged her and beckoned his cronies to follow him.

* * *

The girl went straight to the Principal's office. "Professor Caputo, I'm telling you, sir. They did!" she whispered, keeping eye contact with the man in front of her. "And you want me to do exactly what?" Principal Caputo asked taking a deep breath and leaning further back in his chair. "I can't do anything unless I see them breaking rules, so I suggest you keep your head down and your nose clean." He offered kindly, after all, the things this girl had said had been just rumors. He'd still check the facts with the other professors but he was fond of those girls because they were part of the small group of the advanced students, they were smarter than the majority, so he didn't want to do anything rushed that could cause trouble for the girls.

You go now, have fun, it's the last day of the year, don't worry about anything. Try to enjoy your vacation, I assure you that if I know anything else about it, I won't let it pass" the man with the graying mustache said, opening his top drawer and pulling a small box from it. "Do you want a cookie?" he offered the box to the girl to take one.

"Yeah, thank you, sir." She accepted the cookie and stood up to leave his office. "Happy new year." She told him before leaving the room. Principal Caputo sighed deeply and shook his head. "Nonsense." He muttered.

* * *

New Year's Eve went by as happy as it was possible, everyone was happy and although alcohol was totally forbidden by the foster home, the older ones managed a way to have loads of it. Even the professors (the ones who actually were at Litchfield, because didn't have a family either) were celebrating, chatting animatedly and making jokes. It turned out that when Cal and Alex met, they instantly clicked and passed all the night bantering and telling stories, or rather Cal told Alex stories about younger Piper, and how she was really uptight and with really high standards, but he also told Alex about all the good things she had and how Piper was always willing to help other people.

There was something about Cal that made Alex comfortable and she eventually told the story about her mother, surprising everyone there, because some of them had known her for three or four years and she never told them. Piper was kind of hurt because she didn't tell her either. Alex didn't view things that way because she felt the need to tell the story when she noticed that Cal was beyond mad at their parents and genuinely didn't want to see them again, and Alex thought it was her duty to make him see that he had to value his parents, and she knew that Piper was listening intently, and she really wanted her to know her story.

When she recalled how her mother died and how she couldn't do anything, Piper was on the verge of tears and all she wanted to do was wrap her arms tightly around the brunette who finished her story with broken voice and deep breaths. She took her hand and traced lazy patterns with her thumb, swallowing back tears. Cal began making jokes and Nicky followed him, trying to make everything lighter and Alex silently thanked them for that.

The small gesture didn't go unnoticed by Cal, who furrowed his brow but didn't say anything, he'd talk with her sister later because all night he noticed the closeness between those two and the way Piper leaned in to Alex when she crossed her arm on her shoulders, and the fucking glances they shot at each other…

* * *

January 9

Alex groaned loudly when Tiffany wouldn't turn off her alarm. Neither of the girls in room 8 could wake up this early and today was the first day of school after the winter break. No one was looking forward to this, really (including the professors who appeared to be grumpier than usual over breakfast).

The day passed uneventful and after Phy. Ed. everyone was heading back inside the building to get a shower before dinner, Alex pulled Piper out of the group of students and Nicky turned around to look what happened. When she saw it was Alex, she grinned, shook her head and continued her way, knowing that maybe those two were going to skip the shower and head straight to dinner. They made sure that everyone was inside, even Mr. Donaldson, their teacher, when Alex took Piper by the hand and guided her to the small warehouse where the balls and sports pad were kept and when they closed the door behind them, Piper smiled and with a curious glint in her eyes asked: "What are we doing _here_?" the last word lost as a whisper.

Alex gazed deeply into her eyes and her look said it all. Alex moved fast, her left hand lifted Piper's chin a little and she got closer slowly, making Piper's breath hitch in her throat. She placed her hand on the back of the blonde's neck and Piper felt nervous anticipation rising up the pit of her stomach, and in her chest something was fluttering uncontrollably. Alex never broke eye contact as she leaned forward ever so slightly and pressed her lips in a passionate kiss. Piper felt a jolt when Alex lowered her hand around her waist, pulling her closer. Piper reached up and put her arms around Alex's neck as she had done several times before by now. Alex smiled inside the kiss at the small action that spoke volumes (at least she liked to think that) and all of a sudden, Alex slid her tongue against her own and she couldn't stop the most sinful moan leaving her throat.

"What's going on here?!" Mr. Donaldson yelled making them both jump in fright.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you all who have followed/faved and reviewed. I appreciate it so much. You really make my day. Hope you enjoy, and sorry.**

* * *

Carrie had always been insecure about herself. She sometimes felt like she was trapped in a body that didn't match their personality, and other times she felt really proud of being a lesbian. The first time she noticed that she liked a girl, she was 8 years old and the notion of attraction was barely something she could grasp, but she found herself staring at this girl in her class. She figured it was wrong because everybody always said so, but she couldn't help it, so she just didn't mention it at all. It was a constant internal struggle because she tried to like boys from there on, but she always ended up liking all the pretty girls and couldn't say a thing.

She arrived at Litchfield Foster home when she was 13 years old, her father died in a car crash and she had lived with her mother for almost a year but that was the worst one because her mother blamed her for her father's death. Supposedly, he was upset after fighting with her mother over Carrie, her father was always supportive, but her mother thought that she was an abomination, so one night, after her mother named her that, her father was livid and went out of the house.

Aside from the fact that her mother thought Carrie was to blame for her father's death, she would always force her daughter to use dresses and skirts and told her to behave 'accordingly' which she never quite understood because she didn't completely feel like she could pull the whole 'gender rol' completely. She absolutely hated girly stuff and abhorred her name, so she made everyone call her by the Nickname her father gave her: Big Boo. At first it was just verbal abuse but after two or three months her mother started beating her, she'd have anger attacks when her daughter failed to obey her, so one day, sick of fight after fight, Boo decided to formally accuse her mother; she ditched middle school and went to Children's Aid.

She's 17 now and still has doubts now and then. She knows that she will never use 'female' clothes because she actually feels like a drag.

Back in elementary and middle school, the bullying was endless, not just because of the way she dressed, mean kids would call her 'fat' and 'butch'.

Those things always used to bring her down and for years, she found herself severely depressed, but about one year ago, people like Nicky and Alex helped her to accept herself, she realized that none of those mean bitches were going to help her through life and that whatever they said, was unimportant because she didn't even like them, so one day she decided that she no longer cared what they thought.

To say that she felt better was an understatement, she's now self-confident and proud of who she is. She made friends and yes, she sometimes was bitter and could sell them if it meant that she could win something, but Nicky, Lorna, Alex and, even Tiffany lately, were her friends and she was happy.

She was about to get out of Litchfield and she wanted to make sure that she had friends to look up to when she got out, and she remembered that Alex was about to get out soon too, so she figured that maybe both of them could live together outside, to have someone they know as support. She thought about asking her at dinner but Alex didn't show up.

"Nichols, do you have any idea where Alex might be?" she asked over dinner.

"She's supposed to be here with Piper, otherwise she'll be punished." Nicky said biting her bottom lip.

"Maybe they are already on the dormitories?" Lorna ventured.

"Yo, your friends got busted. I saw them going to Principal's office. Chapman was on the verge of tears." Poussey arrived at their table and whispered to Nicky, grimacing and she sat down next to Boo.

"Hey, man. Why are you so quiet?" the skinny girl asked Big Boo in a rushed whisper after several minutes of everybody eating in silence.

"You know? I think they're worried about Alex and the blonde one, and I'm worried about myself." Boo said honestly, sighing and looking at Poussey like she suddenly realized she was another human being who she could talk to because she seemed nice and inspired confidence with her kind eyes and her amiable expressions.

"What's up, Big?" Poussey inquired still whispering while Nicky and Lorna were giggling like idiots because Nicky's impression of Alex telling Piper that everything would be fine, that she'd suck dick if it was necessary.

"I'm getting kicked out of here the next month". Boo said angrily.

Poussey eyes widened in surprise. "Shit, I forgot you're old!" she joked and patted Boo on the shoulder but the latter rolled her eyes annoyed.

"I'm joking, man. That's tough shit, but they're supposed to give you a job, right? I bet you're gonna' make it just fine out there, getting chicks an' all." She said smiling, trying to cheer her up.

"Yeah, but they're stupid assholes who don't care at all. I'll end up dead or in jail.". Boo said grimly.

"Maybe, maybe not. We need to learn how to fend for ourselves. And it's fucked up now, but maybe we can get out there and work hard to achieve whatever we want." she said dreamily, making Taystee, who was passing behind them, snort.

"Bitch, we ain't gonna' accomplish shit and we should accept that." Poussey scoffed "Maybe YOU won't, but I want to have my own restaurant someday." They all started laughing loudly.

"Jesus, Vause, who died?" Nicky asked as soon as Alex approached their table.

"Piper will never speak to me again." The brunette expressed gloomily.

"Why? What happened?" Lorna asked her softly.

"Fucking Donaldson happened."

Nobody said a word after that.

* * *

"Why? Just tell me why, Chapman. Because I don't get it." Professor Healy said with a disappointed tone, like he was just tired of the whole thing.

"I- I don't…" Piper trailed off.

"You have nice parents. You have a home. You had a private school and I'm sure you have friends outside. Why are you doing things like this? You don't have to. Not to fit in anyway. You know that?"

Piper nodded, avoiding his gaze.

"Just tell me that it was a one time thing, and that's all." Eyebrows up, expecting her answer.

"I'm… I- Yes. It was a one time thing." She said softly, still avoiding eye contact.

Healy smiled "Of course, Chapman. So I assume you want Vause out of your room. I'll arrange it. As you know I already talked to her, but now that you've practically told me that she coerced you into… that, I'll make sure she stays away from you."

Piper stopped breathing. This was definitely not what she wanted. Alex was going to hate her forever. Adrenaline was pumping through her veins and her muscles began cramping because she felt the need to run away from there. Her eyes began to water as she felt bile rising through her throat.

She ran to the wastebasket and threw up, breathing harshly, tears threatened to escape and she knew then that she'd regret saying it was a one time thing. She thought about telling Healy that Alex never pushed her t do nothing, but she was scared. What if Healy talked to her parents? So she decided against it.

Professor Healy was standing next to her "You okay now, Chapman?"

"S- sorry." Piper nodded weakly. "Can I go to the nurse?"

Professor Healy nodded sympathetically "Of course, Chapman. I understand that you feel nauseated after what you've done." He smiled.

Piper had never felt sicker. This man was totally wrong, she wanted to escape. Soon, Alex would be reassigned to a new room after years of living in her room.

"Don't reassign Alex." Piper blurted out on her way to the door.

"Hmm?" Professor Healy stopped walking to his desk and turned to look at her.

"Reassign me."

* * *

After dinner, Alex was too anxious about what happened with Piper. She was sure that the blonde would snap and would feel exposed and even more confused. She was going to get away from her and her fears would win. Because that's how Piper is.

But Piper never came back to their room. Tiffany was fast asleep and Stella was up, reading something with the faint light of a small lantern. Of course Alex couldn't sleep. She got up and headed to the door to get out.

"You're going to get caught". Stella whispered.

"No, I'm not, if you don't say anything." Alex replied without turning around to look at her.

"I won't. But you don't have to leave."

"I do. I'm too nervous and I can't sleep, I can't even be here."

"I can come with you, if you want." She closed her book and looked at Alex expectantly.

Alex creased her brows in confusion and finally turned to look at Carlin. "uhm… I guess." She whispered.

"Cool." Stella grinned and jumped from her bunk, took one of her jackets and put it on. "Done. Where are we headed?" she asked Alex, getting close to her face, to the point of feeling her breathing in her face.

"Ah… Maybe- let's get outside to smoke." Alex said hastily and turned around to finally open the door.

* * *

"This is your new room. You can go get your stuff tomorrow morning, okay?" Professor Fischer told Piper smiling.

"Thank you." The blonde said defeated.

"Don't worry, Chapman. I'm sure you'll go home pretty soon. And this girls are nice." She beckoned her inside the room "If you need anything, you know where my office is." Piper nodded and was about to enter her new room when her stomach grumbled loudly. She turned to look at Professor Fischer and gave her an apologetic look "I missed dinner." She explained.

"Oh, well. Come down with me, I'll give you something to eat." She said kindly.

"Thank you". Piper wanted to cry. She followed Professor Fischer to the kitchen where she offered her her own dinner. The blonde girl was really thankful and for a moment she thought about telling Professor Fischer everything but decided against it because after all, she was still scared that her parents would hear about any of this. She cared to a certain point about what other girls thought, but she definitely cared what teachers and family thought, so she ate in silence and thanked her Professor before going to her new room.

This was going to be tough.

* * *

Alex and Stella sat down on the woods, on the very same spot where Piper told her that she wanted to see what happened between them.

"Want a cigarette or a joint?" Alex asked.

"We can share a Joint, Alex." Stella said with a strange glint in her eyes. Something Alex had never seen before, but it was the name that perplexed her and told her that there was something wrong.

Alex raised an eyebrow and acted cool "Okay, let's share a joint, _Stella."_ she muttered her name, making sure it sounded a lot like Carlin's accent.

Alex rolled up one and tried to light it, always thinking about Piper and what happened with her, an uncontrollable trembling controlled her hands, making it impossible to successfully light it so Stella took Alex's hands on her own to steady them and helped her light the joint, always keeping eye contact with the taller girl.

Alex felt all the tension radiating from Stella, she could feel her _intentions_ in her touch and in the way she looked at her. This could not happen.

"Thank you" she said and stood up, pacing in front of Carlin to avoid further contact and to calm herself.

She took a deep drag and tried to maintain it in her lungs for as long as possible, making her eyes water.

"Easy" Stella said, standing up too and taking the joint from Alex's hand. She took a drag and closed her eyes, enjoying the taste.

Alex kept pacing, smoking eventually and feeling the effects starting to kick in. She took deep breaths and started to relax, trying to think everything through. Weed could have that effect, she could thing everything through different perspectives and could come up with different solutions to all of her problems.

 _Maybe I can still be her friend. Maybe I can talk to her and tell her that I'm willing to stop every romantic thing if it means I can still be her friend._

Suddenly, Stella was right in front of her. "Shit, Vause. I can hear you thinking."

Alex didn't answer and kept thinking everything she could do to make sure Piper didn't go away from her when a pair of soft lips were covering her own.

Sensations heightened, it felt really nice to kiss someone who really knew how to kiss to provoke. So she kissed back, knowing perfectly that it was Stella, and that she wanted Piper, but this moment felt _right._


	14. Chapter 14

May 17

"We were supposed to try," Alex yelled, obviously angry, "You were such a coward! You don't get to do this," she motioned between both of them, getting away from Piper.

"Alex, wait, I want to explain wha-" Piper tried to grab her hand but Alex took it away forcefully.

"No, Piper, there's nothing to explain, it's been 4 fucking months and you haven't even so much as given me a look, so yeah, fuck you," Alex felt the painful knot in her throat but managed to sound more angry than sad.

"I couldn't talk to you!" Piper stood up from the bench and planted herself in front of Alex who stopped walking and laughed bitterly. "Yeah, I know, because that's what you do, right?"

"What are you talking about?" Piper asked, creasing her brow.

"You're that kind of girl, right? The selfish one, who cares way more about what everybody says and thinks that about her own fucking feelings and the people she's hurting," Alex shoved Piper off and continued her way.

"You're right!" Piper yelled, making Alex stop again and turn around with a grimace. "I was fucking selfish, and I know I did wrong, I regret it, you have no idea how hard it has been for me too! Fucking Healy forbade me everything! I couldn't even cast a look in your direction because there he was watching me like I just killed someone and yes, I fucking regret everything but here I am, trying to talk to you," Piper had reached Alex "because I don't care anymore," she finished quietly, hoping that Alex would see that she was being honest.

"That's too bad, I'm leaving on sunday," Alex recited emotionless.

Her eyes didn't express sadness or anger anymore, she was just empty and Piper felt like all the air in her lungs had suddenly abandoned her. The blonde couldn't see anything in those eyes she now knew she loved, because Alex was despaired and had managed to shut Piper out, even if it was only to survive the last days she had left there.

She figured that once she was out, I'd be easier to forget her. Not seeing her face every single day would help her heal this deep wound she knew would inevitably come.

"Now please, do not talk to me again," Alex muttered harshly, baring her teeth, leaving Piper on her own pool of sadness to deal with.

Of course that was the exact opposite of what she wanted, she could have forgiven Piper for being so selfish, but she figured it would be even worse when she had to go, three days from now and she didn't want any more drama in her life right now, it would be really hard for her outside and she didn't want an extra thing to make her feel like shit every single day.

* * *

May 21, 6:10 am.

Sunday arrived sooner than Alex wanted and she was ready to leave; she was up all night, finishing packing. The raven haired girl figured that she didn't want to say goodbye to anyone so she got to the release office before breakfast.

They made her sign all kinds of forms and papers that stated that she no longer was a problem for Litchfield Foster Home, the forms for her new room, a map and a check for the month.

She sighed and took all of her belongings and was escorted to the door by Professor Fischer who actually looked worried about her. "So, I guess this is goodbye, Vause" she was starting to say when Alex interrupter her "Yeah, please don't say anything, I just want to leave now, thank you" she nodded and stepped out.

It was the scariest thing she would have to do because she had only Big Boo to count on and Alex was obviously scared shitless but wouldn't admit it.

* * *

Piper woke up early and got ready as fast as she could to go and say goodbye to Alex, even if the older girl didn't want her to; she couldn't let her go without something she had to tell her about where she could go now that she was getting out.

She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves and knocked softly on her former room, her heart was beating fast. She wasn't sure how to start and was racking her brain trying to figure it out when Tiffany opened the door slightly, poking her head through it, pretty much asleep and yawning.

"Hey, Chapman, what brings you here?" she asked tiredly.

"I'm here to talk to Alex," Piper swallowed and Tiffany raised her eyebrows with an expression of uncertainty.

"Uhm, I think you might be late, Piper," she opened the door completely to reveal that her bed was empty the part of the desk and closet that belonged to her were empty.

Piper's stomach dropped. She didn't know what to say or do, Alex left without saying anything and she didn't had a chance to tell her something really important.

"Fuck," was all she managed to say and turned around to head to her room.

Tiffany sighed and felt sorry for the girl, before closing the door again to try to sleep a bit more.

Her world seemed empty now and she loathed the moment she didn't stood up for them. Piper hated herself in that moment more than every other day.

She barely reached her bed before collapsing and losing it. The tears came unrestrained and she was sure wouldn't make it. The pain she felt at that moment was too much to bear with and all Piper wanted to do was forget everything, just stop feeling everything.

The definition of grief suddenly explained to her in the form of experience. She really felt the loss of Alex. Yes, she had "lost" her since a few weeks ago, but at least she knew Alex was there, that she was doing okay, Piper could see her but now she wouldn't even know if Alex was okay or not.

What if something happened to her outside?

The thought alone made her breath hitch and suddenly, bile rose up to Piper's throat and she threw up violently on the wastebasket next to her bed. The loss of Alex made her physically ill.

"Hey, girl… Are you okay?" Taystee asked worriedly from her bed, trying to see what was going on.

"No… no, I'm not," she sobbed, trembling and forehead sweaty as Taystee climbed off of her bed and went to it next to Piper to try to comfort her.

"Shh, it's okay, Chapman, I'm sorry, but everything will be fine," she said gloomily and hugged her with a saddened expression.

Piper sobbed quietly for a little while and Taystee just hugged her tightly without saying anything else until Piper felt ready to talk again:

"I couldn't tell her… I couldn't even say goodbye, Taystee," she lamented profoundly. And in her mind she kept replaying the last time they kissed.

 _Alex gazed deeply into her eyes and her look said it all. Alex moved fast, her left hand lifted Piper's chin a little and she got closer slowly, making Piper's breath hitch in her throat. She placed her hand on the back of the blonde's neck and Piper felt nervous anticipation rising up the pit of her stomach, and in her chest something was fluttering uncontrollably. Alex never broke eye contact as she leaned forward ever so slightly and pressed her lips in a passionate kiss._

She was utterly afraid of vocalizing her biggest fear. _What if I never see her again?_

Tayste was sure that Piper would go downhill from here, that there would be nothing that could possibly cheer her up and she sighed. The girl she was holding was really suffering the lost of her loved one.

During the course of the past three months a lot of things had happened to Piper and she finished opening up with her and Poussey who were two of her three roommates.

 _Flashback_

 _January 23_

" _What do you mean he's leaving?," Piper yelled with wide eyes to Principal Caputo._

" _I'm sorry, Chapman, there was nothing we could do about it just now, the paperwork -" Caputo said calmly and stood up of his chair to pour himself a glass of whiskey, "...the paperwork was really a lot easier in the case of your brother because of his age, and apparently, your grandmother is still trying to take you home with her, so don't worry, you'll be reuniting him soon," the man with grayish beard tried to comfort Piper._

 _She shook her head as tears started running down her cheeks unashamedly. "I don't think that'll happen soon… the social worker explained to me that my case was more difficult because I'm about to turn 17 and that makes easier for you to wait until I'm 18 to release me and not have a fucking problem!" she gritted her teeth and slammed her hand to Caputo's desk._

 _He winced but didn't say anything immediately; he took a deep breath and replied as quietly as he could: "Thats… to some extend true. But there's nothing defined here yet. You really have a chance of going out soon, just be patient and trust your family," he looked at Piper in the eye, trying to convince her that what he was saying was actually true._

 _The man had good intentions, and he wasn't mean like other professors, he was just misunderstood by her colleagues because there was no way the budget was sufficient for the ideas he had to improve the lives of the boys and girls living there._

" _Now, I suggest you go to your class, Chapman. Don't miss your classes, you'll realize when you get out of here how much you need them, try to think that you out of all people have the best possibilities here… you've got both your parents and a nice, decent house, so please, I personally beg you… try to get out of here as best as you can," he patted her shoulder and motioned for her to leave his office._

" _Thank you, Sir." Piper muttered angrily and left his office quickly. At least she would have the chance to say goodbye to her brother and pass some time with her grandmother who she hasn't seen in a very long time._

 _Piper was walking back to class, distractedly thinking about how lonely she would be after her brother left… she didn't talk to Alex anymore, Nicky and the other girls didn't talk to much to her because they tried to support Alex who looked destroyed after Piper just blatantly ignored her after the incident with Professor Donaldson, her new roommates were okay but she didn't talk to them much._

 _The only thing keeping her from losing it was her brother, and now, as Principal Caputo had just kindly announced her, Cal would be leaving on January 31._

* * *

 _February 6_

 _About a week after Piper's brother left the Foster Home, Piper wasn't doing okay at all._

 _One night, Poussey was returning from her 'late trip' with Brooke and she found Piper lying unconscious just outside their room._

" _Shit… Piper wake up, they're going to see you here!" She screamed-whispered to the blonde girl who was as drunk as a person could be without getting an alcoholic congestion._

 _Poussey opened the door quickly and ran to wake up Taystee. "T! Hey, come on, help me!" she shook Taystee, trying to wake her up. "Come on, T. I need your help," she whispered._

" _Wha'?" her friend creased her brow, trying to make out the silhouette of her skinny friend._

" _It's Piper, she's lying outside," Poussey explained in a rush._

" _Man! why do this things happen to me, I was dreaming!" she protested before taking a deep breath and jumping off her bed to help Poussey._

 _Taystee put her fingers on Piper's pulse point and relaxed a lot. "Okay, she's going to be okay," she said as she helped Poussey take Piper inside, to her bed._

" _We need to put her face down to the bed, in case she wants to throw up," Taystee said, matter of factly._

 _And so they did an before going to sleep, Poussey went to fill a glass with water to put right next to Piper's bunk bed, along with an aspirin and a note: "Piper, I hope you can feel better when you wake up, drink this and don't worry, I'll tell the professors you're having a stomach flu. Poussey."_

 _The next day was hell for Piper, but luckily, no teacher came to check up on her, even if she didn't show up for breakfast, thanks to Poussey._

 _But at lunch time, Poussey and Taystee actually brought her a tray with food and she was on the verge of tears, again._

 _Ever since she woke up that day, her head was pounding painfully and every little noise and the light made her head hurt like it had been axed or something. The first few hours of the day, Piper felt sick and threw up several times and returned to sleep._

 _The intervals between napping and crying were almost every hour or so; until the girls arrived with lunch._

" _Here, Piper, we thought you should eat something," Poussey said amiably._

" _Thanks," Pieper replayed with teary eyes and broken voice._

" _Hey, what's up? What's wrong?" Both ask simultaneously, worry evident in their eyes._

 _And somehow, Piper felt comfortable with them and trusted both of them, so little by little and between sobs, she managed to tell them her story with Alex._

* * *

 _March, 16_

" _Man, I know it's hard and shit, but I'm really convinced that you should try to talk to her," Poussey was trying to convince her._

" _What am I supposed to tell her? do you have any idea what she will say to me?" she tried her impression of Alex with a husky voice "I don't care, Piper; I'm actually dating Stella," she finished and was torn between laughter and crying._

" _Oh, man! I've told you a thousand times, they're not dating. They are just… using each other to forget or pass the time, I know it." Poussey affirmed._

 _But even if they were just… fucking for pleasure or trying to forget someone else, that made Piper more jealous than she had ever been in her entire life and she knew she didn't have the right to be so, but she couldn't help it, she actually loved Alex._

 _She acknowledged she was in love with the hot raven haired girl after a couple of weeks of their forced break-up. But there was nothing she could do, because as much as she realized her feelings, it was too late and most important, she wasn't ready for her parents to judge her or for that matter, the teachers._

 _She was still the selfish girl who couldn't fight for what she wanted. And Alex tried to fight for her the first weeks but gave up when Piper didn't even acknowledge her presence, and that killed them both._

 _Slowly._

 _Efficiently._

 _And Piper regretted every second of it, she was lost and knew that because of her, Alex was the same lost kid as the Alex who arrived her years ago._

 _Thinking about it, Alex might be even worse now, she might be a rotten human being by now because she didn't sleep, didn't eat, and Piper always spied on her at night…_

 _Every night was drinking night for Alex, and somehow she had the money to afford booze and weed…_

* * *

 _March 22_

 _Alex knew she had no cure. There was nothing she could do to make this pain stop. She thought about killing herself but even that thought seemed unappealing._

 _The only things keeping her 'alive' were alcohol and weed, which she obtained by selling everything Piper gave her, except the necklace. She didn't sell that but she wouldn't wear it either._

 _Her release time was getting closer and closer and all she wanted to do was be stoned all day long. She started failing classes and not attending at all but the Professors didn't bother because everybody knew she was about to go out and there was nothing they'd like more._

 _So she got off with everything she wanted, she had talked and defied Professors with bloodshot eyes and they didn't say a thing. It was not convenient._

 _So, Alex was a forgotten kid. Again._

 _The hardest part was trying to keep Piper out of her mind. It was, by far, the most difficult task she had endured because being stoned sometimes meant that she had to overanalyze every little stupid fucking action Piper did._

 _And Alex liked to watch her when Piper didn't pay attention, and it was a sick game because there were times that Alex knew Piper was watching her and she purposefully played games with Stella._

 _The sex was okay, it wasn't mind blowing but it wasn't so bad either. Stella was experimented in that department, and whenever Alex came in her mouth, she always thought about another pair of blue eyes._

* * *

 _May 17_

 _Alex planned everything with Boo. They would live together when they got out. Obviously, Boo was released before, so Alex kinda' knew what to expect but that didn't mean that it was going to be easier._

 _Boo came regularly to visit her and Tiffany, and she always thought about how hard it was out there for her, which made Alex stress over the fact that it was almost time for her to stand up by herself._

 _She was sure she'd die as soon as she lived on her own, or even with Boo, because she didn't care about her own fate and didn't care about what could happen to her._

 _Boo have finally gotten a job two months after she left and with the money she earned she was trying to find a better room to live than the one the Foster Home gave her._

 _It was nice to see that she was optimistic about the future now and was trying to take Alex with her, but she was reluctant because she didn't want to get out of her own misery._

 _She had learned to enjoy despair. It was what embraced her now every night._

 _End of flashback_

* * *

May 21, 6:34 pm.

Alex was tired of wandering through the streets, the first place she visited was her old house, where she used to live with her mother and stood nearby for about an hour, remembering things from her childhood, when she was happy.

Then, she went to the bank to cash her check so she could go to eat something for breakfast.

She knew it would be a mistake but she didn't care and decided to have a coffee and a bagel at a near Starbucks. Really overpriced, but she choked up at the taste of the coffee and all the memories it brought back for a reason.

A very specific reason. Piper had told her once that she loved Starbucks Coffee and they even jokingly made plans to visit one when they both got out.

And the taste of the bagel simply was exquisite after years of having to eat the food of Litchfield Foster Home. Everything made her want to cry.

After enjoying her expensive breakfast, she headed to the place Boo had told her she worked at.

"Vause! What after sight for sore eyes!" Boo patted Alex's back, happily.

"Hey, Boo. I'm out," she said seriously and Boo cackled.

"You think?" she joked.

"Funny…" Alex flipped her off.

"Here are the keys, get home and I'll be there in a couple of hours." Boo finished and rushed back to work. She worked cleaning a strip club and it was the best fucking job she could ever had because, obviously it implied leering at gorgeous girls every day.

"See ya," Alex replied curtly and returned to the street where she started walking to the address Boo had previously given her but after several streets, she opted to divert her way and ended up searching for Piper's house.

She couldn't quite remember the exact address but she made it to the street Piper had described and tried to imagine the blonde beauty entering a house that suited her and her family.

"Alex?" She jumped a foot in the air at the sound of the voice calling _her name._

"You're Piper's brother...Cal? Was it?" Alex cursed mentally for being caught here by someone who would certainly inform the beauty in question that she was found lurking near her house when she didn't have anything to do there.

"Yeah, I'm visiting my folks, since grandma was busy." Cal scratched his head with confused face "We didn't know you were coming today…?" he tilted his head genuinely confused.

"Today? What are you talking about?" Alex scrunched her nose and asked even more confused than Cal was.

* * *

A/N: So, it's been forever and I must really say I'm sorry but I'm not sure if anyone's still interested in this story, so I don't know if I will continue with it. Thank you for reading,


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